Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | 669 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Here's Mud In Your Lies

After some commercials (Budweiser is an advertiser? You're kidding me!), Richard is lying on some planks, looking at some ants crossing an overhead tent. Rich is thinking that most humans must look at ants the way he looks at mere mortals. Sean declares that he is now in it to win. Before, he was just on the island to make friends and do some bowling, but now, by doggone it, he will win. And he wants to remain a nice guy. Good luck, Sean. We'll see you on the talk-show circuit. As he says this, he's lying on his back in that shot we saw before of him with his shirt up near his nipples. He's secretly wishing he'd been part of that whole bikini fashion thing with Kelly and Colleen. Sue, meanwhile, thinks she's got a pretty good shot.

The castaways go to the mail to find a videocamera with a note taped to it. It says that Jeff Probst went missing (maybe he ran off with the two "Bud" boys) and that the video was all that was left of him in the jungle. Before you can say "Blair Witch Burnout," we see some action on the camera's LCD screen. There is jungle running. A mask is found and turned over to read, "What is the immunity challenge?" Um, that's what you're supposed to tell us. Jeff appears and says breathlessly, "Survivor Witch Project. Pagong Beach. Sundown," before acting like there's something after him. Jeff may be the Probst hobst with the mobst, but he can't act his way out of a mosquito net. Sean thinks it's very cool. Let me tell you something Sean: Blair Witch parodies are only cool on the planet One Year Ago.

Jeff, walking in his khaki shorts through the jungle, explains the next immunity challenge because it has to do with "jungle spirits" and superstition. The survivors will have to search for five masks, and use videocameras to tape themselves answering questions about island folklore. The first person to collect the masks and answer all the questions correctly "will appease the jungle spirits and win immunity," he says solemnly. I'm so sorry they made you read that out loud, Jeff. Seriously.

Survivor

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