Attention shifts back to 'Roid Rage Rudy as "Don't Make Fun of My Untethered" Richard talks to Klepto Kelly about "my man," the Old Navy Seal whom Richard seems to think he has under control. Rudy gives a soliloquy about how if he gives his word, his word is good. We cut to Richard, who sarcastically talks about Rudy's threats of seeking vengeance back home should somebody double-cross him. I thought that's what ex-Navy Seals were trained to do. At least, that's what every Action Cinemax late-night movie has led me to believe. Rudy says it's a game, but "money talks." So does the Rudy Doll. Richard and Sue compare notes on the old kook, and then we're back to Kelly and Richard. Richard confirms again that Rudy is completely under his control, lured by the scent of fresh-caught fish and subconscious, latent homoerotic desire. If you need further evidence that Richard is the one in control, rent American Beauty.
Richard is plotting like a gravedigger. In a confessional, he uses the term "Machiavellian," which is brilliant because it reminds me of whoever referred to him as "Machiabelly" on the forums. Richard is shown alternately telling Kelly that she has nothing to worry about, then telling Rudy that the next person to be voted off will be Ms. Wigglesworth. Then he's getting with Sean to strategize. A demon light shines in his eyes. The skies darken when he approaches. His forked tongue can barely hold onto the rice. Oh Richard, if I sell my soul to you, will you get Penelope Cruz out of my dreams and into my car? Sean sums it all up with his keen intuition by remarking that these are the most conniving people he's ever met in his life. And he's worked for an HMO.
On the beach, Surly Sue and Kelly officially have it out. Sue fires the opening salvo (at least in this edited version) by saying that Kelly had told Colleen she wasn't aligned with the Spirits of Darkness. Um, hey Sue, isn't that the whole point? That you're not supposed to talk about the alliance to non-alliance members? You know, like in Fight Club? At least she didn't lie to all of America at a Tribal Council. Sue and Kelly each yell "Bullshit!" at each other a few times. Kelly claims she's been Sue's friend since day one. Sue shakes her head and announces she's going fishing. Kelly demands that Sue talk to her, and Sue says, "Noooo!" in her lovely drawl that makes my cat line the litter box with blood. "I don't have to!" She gets geared up to go spearfishing, and as she backs away into the water thunderous music accompanies a shot of her thighs. Hey, don't get mad at me, I didn't edit the episode.