Desperate Measures

Episode Report Card
Joanna: C+ | Grade It Now!
Recipe for Dis-ass-ter

Peachy reveals that Helen's husband James and her daughter Kiki are on her tape, and she seems particularly excited that Kiki's there. Not nearly so excited, though, as when her cat makes an appearance, which causes Helen to squeal repeatedly and jog in place. James wishes Helen were at home because he's forgotten the recipe for Uncle Waldo's Zippy Celery Snaps. Kiki looks a little bit like Erika Christensen.

Ken's mom, who is very soft-spoken and timid, squeaks, "Kenneth. Hi. How ya doin'?" His brother and his dog also show off some tricks. Technically, the dog does the tricks, not the brother.

Penny's tape includes her fiancé, her brother-in-law, her sister-in-law, and their two precocious kids. There are also two very cute, non-precocious Boston Terriers in the video. Penny's clan gives the standard "love you, miss you" fare, and then the precocious little girls are forced to say something precocious. The Boston Terriers, sadly, don't get any close-ups. Penny wipes away tears as Peachy asks if the time away has made her realize that her relationships at home are special. He says this as if it's brain science and not a long-winded paraphrasing of "absence make the heart grow fonder." Penny is amazed by "how much in love everyone is with their loved one." Which is good. Because when people aren't in love with their "loved one[s]," things can get kind of sticky. In any case, Penny wants to be an "awesome wife," and, to that end, she has spent a lot of time talking with Helen about recipes. She's going to go home and "be this awesome cook and just love everyone as much as [she] can."

Ted says, "You're killin' me, Jeff," as Peachy blatantly prolongs the time before Ted gets to see his family. Ted reveals to the group that his daughter was born just a few days before Survivor started, and that she was still in the hospital when he left for Thailand. As Peachy says that he'll now see both his wife and daughter, Ted says, "You're crazy. You are killin' me!" I don't really understand many of Ted's responses. What's so crazy about it? It would have been much crazier had the tape come from Grindia. Ted's wife holds up an itty bitty fussy pink-clad Baby Ted, who wriggles around and cries and makes cute little baby fists. Ted's wife reminds him to "put God first."

Now that they've glimpsed each other's loved ones, Peachy reveals that the winner of the reward challenge will get to watch his/her entire tape "while enjoying a nice, cool beverage." He then trots out the whole assumptions shtick again, pointing out that the S8 may have assumed there'd be a merged because of the individual nature of the challenge. As he digs out some gold buffs from a nearby trunk he snits, "Finally, an assumption that's right." Peachy officiously announces that Sook Jai and Chuay Gahn are no more, and that paints and a new flag await them back at camp. He says that with fourteen days left in the game, they're off to a whole new start. Jan thanks God for the merger.

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