Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 797 USERS: C+
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Bye Bye, Billy

Meanwhile, at Puka, Yul hides in the bushes clutching a string tied to a crate, waiting to trap a chicken under the crate. Man, this really is the part where everything they're doing looks like it was diagrammed in chalk. Also, if we can divert into trivia for a minute, it's a damn good thing chickens love coconut, which I totally didn't know, because otherwise, I don't know how these people would attract them. When figuring out what to feed a chicken, I have to admit, I never would have thought, "Pina Colada!" That's why I didn't become a vet. I don't get animals. Becky interviews that this was a very good start to the day, because everybody loves a coconut-eating chicken when all they've been eating is coconuts. (Honestly, everybody loves a chicken in general, which is kind of the theme of the season so far. It's kind of Survivor: Cluck Cluck Cluck.)

Becky and Yul crouch on the beach together at the edge of the water and have a chat about trusting each other. Yul tells us he thinks that since Becky is a lawyer who works with nonprofits, she probably isn't in the game just for the money and therefore might be less greedy and more trustworthy. I can see how you might reach that conclusion, and it might be true about Becky by coincidence, but it's totally wrong as a rule. Lawyers who work for cheap are not any nicer than the other ones. As Becky explains, they're also both Korean, so that forms a little bit of a bond between them as well. She says that to her, Yul is kind of like an older brother figure. They agree to stay together in the game.

And now, Raro, home of the clownishly boring white people. (I can say that, because it's in my heritage. My blood!) Candice, Adam, JessiFlicka and Parvati are preparing to welcome home Jonathan, King Of Sitcoms, who you will remember was sent to Exile Island last week. When he arrives, there is a group hug of enormous insincerity, not that this show really knows any other kind. Jonathan interviews that Exile Island sucked, but he was kind of surprised to come back and discover that his tribe had made no progress whatsoever since he left. He also reveals to us, as he does to his tribe, that he looked all over for the Idol, but he didn't find it. Things begin to get dicey when the tribe reveals that they still don't have a floor for the shelter, so they're still sleeping on the cold, wet ground. Jonathan is unimpressed. "I don't understand that," he interviews of their lack of activity. Headline of that scene: HOLLYWOOD ACTOR RETURNS; CAN'T BELIEVE LAZY PEOPLE'S LACK OF GUMPTION. That's got to hurt.

Survivor

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