Dire Straits And Dead Weight

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Bye Bye, Billy

Over at Aitu, there is spear fishing, and there is crabbing. It's like a damn picnic on Cape Cod. Food does not seem to be in as short supply this season as it sometimes has been. J.P. tells us that his tribe is doing great. My favorite part is where he says to the girls, "You guys got crabs?" That's a little personal, there, J.P. He also goes on to say that "Latinos are good workers," and it's in their blood and their "heritage." Really? You want to go there, bud? I...wouldn't. Back at camp, Cristina tells them the story of how she was shot in the line of duty. Cecelia tells us that Cristina is "definitely a role model," given what she does and everything she's been through.

In other Aitu news, there are chickens running around their camp just like the ones that Raro allowed to escape. That is: taunting chickens. (Chicken: "Maybe I'll just lie down and take a nap. Yawwwwwn. You could just come riiiiight over here and catch me. I'd be delicious! Tasty and juicy, and I'm soooooo tired, yawwwwn...psych! [flapflapflap].") The group discusses various ways to construct a chicken trap, and Cristina kind of wants to go with a slapsticky trap where you'd catch the chicken in a big bag while presumably wearing an Elmer Fudd hat. Ozzy congratulates himself in an interview for "making a concerted effort not to shoot down all of her ideas," even though her ideas are all stupid. Ozzy wants to make a tunnel-shaped trap instead, although what later comes out doesn't look as much like a sophisticated tunnel-shaped apparatus as it does like throwing a big net over a chicken. For her part, Cristina interviews that she finds it a little irritating that every idea has to come from Ozzy, or he rejects it. He agrees in an interview that the two of them "don't click very well." He chalks this up to the fact that she's a cop, and the fact that he's a lot younger than she is. They're kind of like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Time for Ozzy to jump off a building! In Aramaic! It appears that they use Ozzy's net-throwing concept to trap the chicken. The next thing you see is the chicken roasting over the fire, so somebody also killed and dressed it, but you don't need to see that part. I can't say who did it, but I bet Ozzy kibitzed the whole time. Cristina goes for a walk, and the rest of the group thinks she's stomping around mad, which I'm not sure about. Some people just need time away from other attention hogs in order to regroup.

Meanwhile, at Puka, Yul hides in the bushes clutching a string tied to a crate, waiting to trap a chicken under the crate. Man, this really is the part where everything they're doing looks like it was diagrammed in chalk. Also, if we can divert into trivia for a minute, it's a damn good thing chickens love coconut, which I totally didn't know, because otherwise, I don't know how these people would attract them. When figuring out what to feed a chicken, I have to admit, I never would have thought, "Pina Colada!" That's why I didn't become a vet. I don't get animals. Becky interviews that this was a very good start to the day, because everybody loves a coconut-eating chicken when all they've been eating is coconuts. (Honestly, everybody loves a chicken in general, which is kind of the theme of the season so far. It's kind of Survivor: Cluck Cluck Cluck.)

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