Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 1119 USERS: B
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Ressell Mania

Oh, look, that pointless Boost Mobile player of the week thing is nominating Li'l Russell, who this week lost a challenge, was finally taken out of the game in second-to-last place, cried about it, and left behind a tribe that clearly doesn't need him. Of course.

Zapato return to camp with their tasty reward. Julie is all about smelling the peppers, while Mike says he is so hungry that he hasn't thought about sex in two weeks, as all he can think of is food. That's funny; when I look at Mike, all I can think about is sex. Sorry, Mom. Ralph tells us that the food was so good that he sucked every little bit out from underneath his nasty dirty fingernails. There goes any thoughts I had about sex. Thanks, Ralph. David says the mood at his camp is good right now and he's happy to be there and not in the other camp.

While the editors try to convince us that monkeys and jaguars are surrounding Camp Onomatopoeia, the loser tribe returns to camp and has insult added to injury with a speech from Phillip. He tries to motivate his troops as Kristina openly rolls her eyes. Rob says everyone in camp hates Phillip, who adjourns the meeting and micromanages Ashley and Natalie as they try to pour water from the boiling pot into their canteens. Kristina, meanwhile, just watches and smiles. Ashley interviews that she cannot stand Phillip and hopes he goes home tonight. Great, then do something about it, Ashley. Oh wait, I forgot -- you're just going to wait for Rob to tell you what to do and hope you agree with it. And do it even if you don't. Play on, player. While Phillip stabs at hermit crabs, Kristina decides to stir the pot a bit and says the last thing she wants to hear after losing another challenge is Phillip's voice. The girls agree. Kristina interviews that she knows where she stands in this tribe and that her only chance right now is probably that Phillip is awful enough to be voted out before her. Kristina then starts talking about the immunity idol to her audience of Onomatopoeia women, saying there was probably a clue to it in the last reward they won, and chances are good that Rob and Grant have it.

Survivor

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