Eruptions Of A Volcanic Magnitude!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Chris Makes His Move

We sweep over to the next challenge, which has a long, obstacle-course layout. When the tribe gets there, Jeff explains that this is the "second chance" challenge, where they'll get to revisit some past challenges. It's like taking a date to all the worst restaurants you've ever attended, kind of -- the one where you spilled something on yourself, the one where you walked into the kitchen while looking for the bathroom, that sort of thing. Anyway, in this case: first, they'll all go through a mud crawl. Then, the first four of them to finish will move on to the pig pen. You have to grab a marked pig and drop him into a little individual cage. The first three to catch pigs will move on to the tiki puzzle. First two to finish their tiki puzzles move on to a balance beam, a slide down a net, and then hitting plates with slingshots. The first to hit all three plates will send a flame up to light a torch and so forth, and that will win you reward. The reward in this case is a horseback ride to Mount Yasur, and a snack of hot dogs, wine, beer, and hot chocolate. Jeff somehow seems to feel that the hot dogs are particularly well-suited to looking at an active volcano, and I'm not understanding that at all, unless he's seriously so lame that a food with the word "hot" in it appears lava-appropriate. I would like to think that isn't the case. Anyway, at Mount Yasur, you'll get to stay overnight, too. "Worth playing for?" I hate it when Jeff asks that, because it's exactly like when waitresses ask you whether everything's all right, but they all nod obligingly. One other thing -- Jeff needs to stop wearing the dark shirts with the white stitching. That is just not sexy. And what's in those enormous front pockets, anyway? Graphing calculators?

The mud pit, pretty predictably, finishes off Scout. The pig pen (preceded by a smattering of Deliverance-ish harmonica that is only there to be noticed by the obsessive-compulsives, thank you very much) continues to be Eliza's Waterloo, and she's not making it out of that round. The tiki puzzle round is decided when Chris accidentally abandons a piece of his puzzle on the ground behind him and can't figure out what he's doing wrong. He's still trying to figure it out when Twila and Julie are both finished, so Chris is out. This is particularly painful because, while showing Jeff the puzzle assembled incorrectly, Chris literally trips over the piece of it that's on the ground. Chris may have done a nice job of keeping his ass in the game, but he's still kind of the Gilligan more than the Professor. Anyway, in the final round, Julie and Twila race up the ladder and across the balance beam. Julie is ahead, and it looks like Twila hurts her ankle landing on the net. (You might want to keep that in mind for endurance-challenge purposes, no?) She limps to the slingshot, but Julie is ahead of her, and when Julie has good success hitting the slingshot, her torch lights and she wins reward. A very muddy Julie jumps up and down in her swimsuit. Jeff tells Julie that, of course, she gets to bring somebody with her on her reward. "It's ironic," Julie says, "because none of these people would have taken me." First of all, don't whine. Second of all, it's not ironic. Third of all, don't count on it. I think Chris might have taken Julie if he'd won, just so he would know exactly where she was and whom she was talking to. He'd have had to take either Julie or Eliza, for fear they'd hang around at camp and plot -- not that, admittedly, they can do anything without a third vote, but still. It occurs to me that the real person with the dilemma if she had won this challenge was Eliza. Gotta leave Julie back at camp with Chris if you want them to be able to talk about voting off Twila. But that means taking Scout or Twila -- probably Twila -- on the reward. And that? Well, first of all, Eliza would hate that, and second of all, it would look incredibly suspicious. What would Twila think the purpose of that was? At any rate, that's not what happened, so what we get is Julie deciding to take Chris, who runs over and hugs her. Jeff sends Scout, Twila, and Eliza back to camp. And as they walk off, you can see how really, really skinny Eliza has gotten. Really. Olive Oyl jokes aside, get that girl a slice of pepperoni. Stuffed crust.

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