Everyone's Hero

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
Smoothie Operators

Commercials. What the world needs now is more Jackie Collins. That is so true.

As the members of Drake return to camp, we hear Sandra voice over that she feels that her team has to go to tribal council because she wasn't able to eat the sardine fast enough. She says that she feels like if she's the one who's sent home tonight, she'll feel forced to admit that it makes a certain amount of sense, since she's the one who couldn't get the fish down. The rest of the tribe reassures her that they don't blame her, because she did her best.

Out on the beach, however, Jon bitches to Shawn about how much Sandra sucks for not being able to finish that challenge, which was the "easiest" they'll ever have. "I believe the last immunity challenge was mind over matter; obviously, a sardine was bigger than Sandra's mind," Jon interviews. Well, a Goldfish cracker is bigger than your mind, Tiny, so I wouldn't go getting all cocky. He also goes on to explain that he's "extremely pissed off at Michelle," because she drank the shake all at once and didn't convince Morgan that she was a weakling, as Jon demanded. He apparently believes that Michelle has supreme power over all things, so had she done it the way he wanted, Morgan would certainly have sent Michelle to go last. It doesn't seem to occur to him that, as we saw the challenge, several people went AFTER Michelle and saw what happened with her, so had they wanted to set up a decoy, they could have done it themselves. Jon could have faked up problems drinking the drink, as could Shawn, and they both seemed to have no problem gulping it down. It's just an absurd theory to blame this entire loss on Michelle. Given how transparently Sandra struggled, it's entirely possible that they would have picked her, no matter what Michelle did. Ditto Trish, who also looked like she could barely swallow the shake. This is another way that the Drake cockiness is playing out: they've convinced themselves that they're so superior that if they just all play along, they can always guarantee the outcome. Which is just silly. And considering how hard Michelle worked when she first went up to the table at making faces and squirming and complaining, I think she did her absolute best to play along, and Jon's claim that her "ego" couldn't stand to look girly is positively absurd. That's just not what happened, because if it had been ego, she never would have made all the faces and acted so cowed in the first place. I just detest Jon, and this whole speech is one of his stupidest yet. It's quite an accomplishment.

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