Survivor
Fans vs. Favorites Reunion

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Fans vs. Favorites vs. Probst

Playing us back into the show is the injury montage. There's Erik flying into a platform, Jason wrapping himself around a pole (it's still funny!), Parvati falling into the water, bad weather, crappy shelters, crazy Kathy, the reward challenge from hell (and its attendant injuries), Eliza flying off a cart while Probst revels in her "absolute wipe-out," James' "potentially fatal" finger and, finally, Jonathan's leg. Jonathan winces as he watches that part and reports that his leg is better, although he still has a nice, big scar. Probst asks Jonathan what makes the game so hard, and Jonathan first gives his mother a shout-out because she's in the hospital and it's Mother's Day. Damn, what's with the mothers and the reunion? He continues that the game is hard for him because every day he's either firing someone or being fired, which people normally only have to endure once or twice in their lives. It takes a mental toll.

Probst asks James about his finger, and James says it's all right after therapy and antibiotics. Probst stays with James and asks him if he has any more cemetery stories to share with us like he did on last season's reunion show. Really? I mean, I liked James and everything but I want to know about the show, not his job. We're running out of time here. Anyway, James says he was digging around the cemetery one day when a crowd started to gather around him. Finally, a teary-eyed woman stepped forward and said her now-apparently-dead mother "loved" James' abs and could he take his shirt off and show them? So he did. Total mom tally thus far: Two sick, one dead. Happy Mother's Day! Probst asks James about his awesome dad, who's in the audience! Hi, James, Sr.! James says his dad is loving this and reading all the internet blogs about him, which are overwhelmingly positive. Damn right they are!

And now we have to talk to crazy Kathy. Probst says she applied to be on this show five times. Apparently, she almost made it to the Vanuatu cast. Thank God she didn't because I don't think I could have taken watching her eight hours a day when I worked on that show. And after all that, when Kathy finally gets on the show ... she quits. Kathy says she doesn't know how or why, but as soon as she got on the boat, everyone -- including the natives rowing them there -- seemed put off by her. Is she really that clueless? Apparently, she went around asking Jonathan if people hated Jews because they killed Christ, and then there was that big deal she made out of Chet being gay and Tracy having implants and God knows what else that we didn't see. Do you think that might have had something to do with it? Being ignorant and naïve is never cute, but especially not when you're forty-two and have no excuse. Erik is from a small town in Michigan, and he managed to avoid coming off like a slack-jawed yokel. And he's half your age! Combine her social difficulties with the constant bad weather and the rats and the raw clam and Kathy says she just snapped. "Cuckoo!" she says. Well, at least she admits it. It can't be easy to tell a national television audience that you couldn't hack it and no one liked you. Probst says he gives Kathy credit for struggling through a lot before finally quitting. He says she should be proud of how she did because she gave it her all. I'll just have to take his word for it.

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Survivor

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