Probst says he wants to talk to Mikey B. last because it's Mother's Day and he knows how much Mikey B.'s mother wanted her son to be on the show and how proud she was when he made it on. But she isn't here, and Probst wants Mikey to tell us why. Honestly I don't want to know; it's going to be awful, isn't it? We've already had two sick mothers and one dead one; I don't want to add to the tally. Mikey says his mother got sick right when he was about to go on the show but didn't tell him because she didn't want him to give up his trip. She died last month. But he feels like she's still here. He says he loves her and wishes her a happy Mother's Day. And with that, we go back to Probst and his dimples. He's completely unfazed by the downer note and says we'll get a sneak preview of next season after the break.
And here's the preview. Probst starts it off by saying that every day, millions of Americans go about their familiar day in familiar surroundings. Then we see a picture of the Earth with America clearly marked (because otherwise we'd have no idea where it was) and I started to think that we're going to see Survivor: Mississippi or something. But no, it's just pointless filler. The globe spins and lands in Gabon, Africa, where eighteen contestants will play to win one million dollars. There are the animals we're sure to see symbolically roaming around on the b-roll. There are the native tribes we will no doubt visit, pretending that their ceremonial dress and customs are indicative of how they actually live today. There's the "pure, untouched wilderness" the contestants will destroy by making shelters and burning them down, not to mention the camera crew and all the trash they'll leave. Probst also claims that we'll see "surfing hippos," although the hippos they show get nailed by a wave and don't surf at all. Meanwhile, elephants and gorillas hang out together while "leopards keep watch." What is this, The Lion King? We all know damn well that these animals do not chill together, and even if they did, they wouldn't be going near the contestants. Whatever. It'll be shot in HD; that's "high-definition," the graphic says. And while I'm sure the scenery will look absolutely gorgeous, I don't know how awesome those ragged, hairy, dirty contestants will look. I guess we'll find out this fall!
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she's bored at work. Or you can try