Fiji Reunion

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
Earl Redux

This weakness continues to play out as Jeff moves to Anthony, who was victimized by Rocky's bullying tactics to literally the point of tears, who was actually, literally accused of being inadequately manly with the use of the word "skirt," and who never once has indicated that he wanted any part of any battle with Rocky such that you could accuse him of picking part of the fight himself. In a montage, Anthony calls himself a nerd, and Rocky calls him "effeminate" and "a little girl." Jeff once again presents to Anthony his asinine, addlepated, nitwit theory that Rocky was a bully as a way of trying to help Anthony be a better and stronger person, which is right out of 101 Ways To Enable Abusers. I mean, are you shitting me, Jeff? People don't bully other people as a way of building them up; that's ridiculous. You can sympathize with Rocky as a figure more pathetic than malicious, but you certainly can't expect Anthony to thank him, which is practically what's being suggested. I think Jeff is generally a decent (though cheeseball) guy, but I cannot abide what happens to his personality when he sees an opportunity to weigh in on manliness. This is the part of him that became buddies with Colby Donaldson, because Colby was in razor commercials, because he was that much of a stud. Jeff has a thing about embracing this asshole "men who are real men" thing, and it makes me want to throw up every single time. Fortunately, Anthony is having none of it, and good-naturedly says that Rocky was "hungry" and "crazy," and he didn't really want to get in fights with people, so he handled it like he handled it, and fuck off, Jeff Probst. Jeff asks Anthony if he's different in any way, and Anthony says that he can "put up with a lot more" than he thought he could. Somehow, I don't think Anthony's buying the "Rocky taught me a lesson" story that Jeff is trying to sell. Anthony makes a comment about tolerating lawyers at work, and then pointedly says, "Alex." Heh.

This brings us to the part where Jeff accuses Alex of being "in full lawyer mode" during tribal council, which, as I have already explained, is a load of hooey. Jeff next asks Alex why in the hell he and his guys chose to trust "Dreamz." Alex says that you have "personal relationships" with everyone, and you have to "go with your gut" and so forth. Everybody's a risk; especially the guy who's already screwed, like, six people, but okay. When you're Alex, an endless string of clich├ęs is the least of your problems. Alex insists that "Dreamz" was a better bet than Lisi, who wanted to go home. Jeff asks Lisi whether what was on TV was really her, all crazy and happy and sad and...did we mention crazy? He asks if she really does walk around with her brain hanging out like that. "You have to! What are you supposed to do?" she asks. And...she would, I guess. She says she can't be one of those people with "covering-up madness." Right on, crazypants! The clips of her include, of course, the awesome part where she fell on her face: Ka-fwump! She gives herself a "woo-hoo!" and then says "rock and roll" twice. Word to the wise: when you work for a phone psychic and your favorite drink is rum and Coke, you really can't say "rock and roll." Not even once, but especially twice. Jeff calls her "a go-to woman," because she is also an obnoxious asshole, just like Rocky, and that's what makes her a Jeff Probst MVP.

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