Survivor
Survivor

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Miss Alli: A- | 512 USERS: C+
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Sandra Can Get Loud, Too

Thus does an epic battle begin between Lill and Jonny Fairplay. "Lill, you want to make a deal right now?" Jon says. "No, sir," she says, seeing that she's obviously holding up a lot better than Jon is. "You're crazy," he says. "My daughter wants to be a doctor," says Lill. Jon talks down to her about how she doesn't understand how a deal works. "Don't talk to me," she says. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE DEALS WORK, LILL?" he says. Dude. She understands. She's not making a deal with you, because you would expect her to let go, and you would promise to take her, and then you wouldn't, or so she believes. "Shut. Up," she says. "Lill," he says, "if you give me immunity, I will take you to the final two. That's what a deal is." Lill is not interested. "If you trust me, then you jump in," she says. "I don't know if I can trust you," he says. "Then drop it," she says. "Looks like you're going to have to win it on your own," Jeff interjects, quite clearly amused. As am I.

At the thirty minute mark, Lill looks the same as always, while Jon is obviously in increasing pain. Jeff asks him how he is, and he says he sucks, actually. Sandra, sitting on her raft, laughs -- and wouldn't you? "Lill," Jon says, "who [sic] do you want to go against in the final two?" She counters: "How many people have you screwed over, Jon?" "Everyone in the game?" he answers. "Do you know what?" she continues. "I do aerobics." "Okay," Jon says weakly. "My knees are great," adds Lill. "Okay," he says, again weakly. "My ankles are great," she continues. "These are called squats, in aerobics." "Okay, all right," says Jon, no smart-ass comeback at hand. "I think Lill just said, 'Game on,'" Jeff says. "I think Lill just said, 'Game over,'" Jon mutters. All the weak little "okay"s in that sequence made it one of my favorites of the season.

Time passes. Lill stays in place. Jon suffers. They approach the two-hour mark. "Ready for a deal?" he asks. "I'm not going to deal," she says. "I'll give you immunity," he says, knowing he's in trouble and figuring he might as well try to lock her into a moral commitment to take him to the final two. "I'm not going to promise anything," she says. "Well, then that's -- that's -- that's -- not a deal, Lill, huh-huh," trying to go for condescension one last time, as if she's hopelessly stupid and doesn't understand, when she totally does, and she's just not interested because he has interrupted her when she is right in the middle of the ass-whupping. "Well, I'm not going to deal, then," Lill concludes. Sandra grins broadly, delighted at the thwarting of Jon by Lill, even though it's not necessarily good for her strategically. Jeff asks Jon how confident he is right now that he's going to take out Lill in this challenge. "Not extremely," Jon allows, trying desperately not to fall over.

Survivor

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