Oh, Jon. Jon says that he's not happy about having played the game as well as he did and not being in the finals. Jon, meet Amazon Rob, who played better than you, was less of an asshole than you, is funnier than you, is more interesting than you, and also did not make the final two -- and watched the money go to Jenna, of all the wretched things. You have absolutely nothing to complain about. Jon again says delusionally that he was the strongest player in the game, and that he made it as far as he could. Again, all about him. "Jonny Fairplay is going to have a fun time at tribal council tonight." Again with the Fairplay Fingers. Yawn. If he were at least less dull, you know?
Tribal council, night. Torches. Lill and Sandra walk up and sit by the fire pit. Jeff welcomes them and brings in the jury. He says that Lill and Sandra will each have a chance to offer an opening statement, then each juror will get a question or comment, then Sandra and Lill will each get a closing. It's like a trial, kind of, with a stinkier jury that takes a much more personal interest in the proceedings.
Sandra's opening statement basically involves her saying that she deserves the money because she was a team player. That's kind of a bad start, to me, because she was always looking out for herself, as they all were, and I don't think she's going to sell that. She says that her strategy was always to be available to offer a vote if anyone needed one, which I think is so funny, because it sounds ridiculous, but it's true. She stumbles again when she claims everyone could count on her "to have their backs," because...no. Every time you vote, you fail to have someone's back, so...no.
Lill's opening gets off to an irritating start, unsurprisingly: "My strategy from the beginning was just to be Lillian Morris." She's going to talk about herself in the third person quite a bit here, so get ready. She says that Lillian is kind. Also, she worked hard, sometimes when other people were still sleeping -- and I don't think anybody's ever denied that that's true. She says that three people told her they were going to take her to the final two, and all three eventually turned their backs on her. I'm assuming we're talking about Burton, Darrah, and...actually, I don't know who the last one is. She says her strategy was to work hard, be friendly, "do good by others, and just be Lillian." Eh. "Do good by others" is kind of...twee, if nothing else.
Jeff gives the jury a moment to think, so we can take a break for yet another commercial.