Flames And Endurance

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sandra Can Get Loud, Too

Sandra interviews that Darrah wanted to get rid of Lill, and says that was okay with her, because as always, as long as it's not her, she doesn't care who goes. Later, though, Sandra gets an approach from Lill, who wants to vote out Darrah on the theory that she's too dangerous with the immunity challenges. Lill tells Sandra that they'll have a better shot at immunity if Darrah isn't around. Sandra agrees to this plan too (Official Motto of Sandra's Strategy: "Whatever"), and Lill asks her to pass it along to Jon so that he doesn't vote against one of them. Lill tells Jon that the plan is to vote out Darrah if she doesn't win immunity, and he agrees. In an interview, Jon congratulates himself for creating tension between Darrah and Lill and avoiding elimination himself. Sandra, meanwhile, repeats in her interview that she doesn't care who goes, as long as it isn't her. Sandra is all about flexibility. She kind of makes me laugh, because what she's doing is so obviously the way to win, and nobody seems to know it but her.

Darrah goes to pick up the seamail (I still hate that expression), and she brings it back to the group. The bad poem doesn't tell them much (other than that the person who wrote it didn't major in English), but says that they're to head for tribal council as usual. "Everyone's kinda freaking out," Sandra says, demonstrating that while some things change, the phenomenon of contestants freaking out for no good reason remains refreshingly constant. As they get ready to leave, Jon voices over: "I don't care if it's a physical challenge or a mental challenge, I'm the king of men, and they're women. There's a huge difference. I mean, like, you know, if it's a gettin' pregnant contest, you know, yeah, they could probably win. But other than that, you know, mentally, physically, I can beat any of them." Again, Jon's trying way too hard, there. I mean, he's an ass and everything, but really. That's just tragically artless in its clumsy bludgeoning of the audience. Moreover, it's nonsensical, because he's already been bested by women in several of the challenges. I hate to break it to Jon, since he obviously plans to make his living as a professional dickhead, but he's not even very good at that.

The tribe rows toward tribal council.

Back from the commercial, we are at tribal council, and the final four are approaching the fire pit. This the time where we bring in the jury! I swear, someday, I want Jeff to raise the jurors up on pedestals that come up out of the ground, and they can each be holding a pear or a tomato or something, and then Jeff can smile insanely and take a big bite out of a yellow pepper. Fukui-san! Anyway, Burton has corralled last week's rugged beard into this week's grotesque goatee. Can I just take this opportunity to plead for an immediate end to the Age of the Goatee? Seriously. The number of goatees in the world that look good can be measured on the fingers of one hand. Just...stop it. Anyway, Jeff takes the Supreme Cutlass back from Darrah as the rest of the crowd looks on. Jeff explains the challenge, which is a typical trivia outing, except that in addition to the final four competing against each other, they will compete against the jury as a group. If the jury wins, then none of those who remain will have immunity. The first competitor to get five questions right will win.

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