Flames And Endurance

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sandra Can Get Loud, Too

The final three walk to the flare muskets with their arms around each other. They aim at the ship and fire. Shockingly, they successfully set the shipwreck on fire. Hmm, mysterious! What great aim they must have, to make the ship start burning spontaneously like that. Once the flames have begun, Lill gives a salute. Because she likes, you know, fully a third or so of those people. The shipwreck burns some more. The torches go up in flames. (Irony!) The final three watch the shipwreck continue to burn for a while, because the show is two hours long, and we're only halfway home.

On the flip side of the commercial break, we see that the contestants have paddled to the next immunity-challenge site. It involves three floating platforms, with Jeff in a boat nearby. Basically, it's a balancing endurance challenge. The water is pretty choppy, so you pretty have to much crouch on your platform, and you can't touch down with your knees or your butt, so you're pretty much in a frog stance, holding on with your hands, for as long as possible. Ah, another chance for Jon to play the reptile card. ["Or amphibian, if you want to get technical." -- Wing Chun] It's not going to work this time, either. Whoever wins immunity will get to the final two, and will get to pick the other person who goes to the final two. They all get into their squat positions. The most notable thing as it gets underway is that Lill and Sandra are both able to do this basically flat-footed, with their entire bottoms of their feet on the raft, while Jon is stuck on the balls of his feet.

Fifteen minutes in, Jeff checks on how everyone's feeling. Jon's feet are numb, he reports. Lill says she feels "really darn good." Soon thereafter, Sandra is hit by a wave and lands on her fanny. Oops. She's out. ["To me, it looked like she might have thrown it, a little bit, but that's just idle speculation. That strategy worked out pretty well for Richard Hatch, way back in the day." -- Wing Chun]

Thus does an epic battle begin between Lill and Jonny Fairplay. "Lill, you want to make a deal right now?" Jon says. "No, sir," she says, seeing that she's obviously holding up a lot better than Jon is. "You're crazy," he says. "My daughter wants to be a doctor," says Lill. Jon talks down to her about how she doesn't understand how a deal works. "Don't talk to me," she says. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE DEALS WORK, LILL?" he says. Dude. She understands. She's not making a deal with you, because you would expect her to let go, and you would promise to take her, and then you wouldn't, or so she believes. "Shut. Up," she says. "Lill," he says, "if you give me immunity, I will take you to the final two. That's what a deal is." Lill is not interested. "If you trust me, then you jump in," she says. "I don't know if I can trust you," he says. "Then drop it," she says. "Looks like you're going to have to win it on your own," Jeff interjects, quite clearly amused. As am I.

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