Flirting And Frustration

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
My Alliance-Mate Flicka

Over at Raro, they open the Day 7 segment with one of my favorite shots of all time, which involves a chicken close to the camera pecking at a coconut husk, and then turning and running away in his hilarious, chicken-like fashion. (Chicken: "I didn't even see you there! I haven't even had a shower! I'm a mess! Eeeeee!") The non-chicken inhabitants of the beach collect some treemail that talks about a challenge not requiring brawn. Jonathan says that they woke up and got an early challenge today. And he's worked with Fran Drescher, so he knows about waking up with an early challenge! (I swear, the end of The Nanny jokes is in sight.) (Next up: The Naked Truth jokes!) Jonathan says that the tribe is strong, and that they haven't lost yet, so he feels positive. There is a shot of JessiFlicka doing some kind of weird tree-hugging exercise, literally, and then Parvati doing a backbend, followed by Jonathan himself on all fours, stretching out his neck or something. It's like Calisthenics For The Bourgeoisie.

Jeff brings all the tribes to a beach. Once they're there, he brings in Yul, freshly returning from Exile Island. Yul heads over and hugs the rest of the members of Puka. They all frisk him for the idol. Jeff takes back the various parts of the immunity idol from Raro, Puka, and Hiki. And then he says the magic words: "Drop your buffs." Some immediately know what this means; others don't, which is consistent with what we've been told about the fact that, unlike what is usually the case, not everyone this season is a longtime fan of the show. Jeff announces that it's "time to integrate." Way to use language carefully, Jeff. He lines up the women on one line and the men on another line. All the men, and then all the women, reach into bags and each retrieve a tile. They all simultaneously reveal their tiles, and the special ones with Xes on them are held by Brad, Jonathan, Cecilia, and Parvati. So those are your four "captains." It's about as much of an honor as being the queen of the Miss Celery Festival, so they had better not get too excited. Jeff sends them all to stand on separate mats. They're now going to alternate -- women choose women; men choose men.

First, Cecilia and Parvati play rock-paper-scissors to see who goes first, and Cecilia's scissors cut Parvati's paper, so she has the lead pick. Jeff tells her that she has to pick someone from a different tribe than herself. She pouts, at least making it look like she would have liked to pick Cristina. She picks "pretty lady with the dreads." Really? Out of all those women, you picked JessiFlicka? Of course, JessiFlicka runs over and is all, "Call me Flicka!" as they hug. I predict Cecilia regretted that move immediately. Parvati picks the "cutie in the pink," who turns out to be Jenny. Now, JessiFlicka has to pick someone who isn't from either of the tribes now represented, so she can pick Becky, Rebecca, Sundra, or Stephannie. The choices narrow quickly, you'll notice. She goes with "the sister on the end," that being Sundra. I don't know about the use of the term "sister," there, dear. Jenny can now choose between Stephannie, Sundra, and Cristina. She takes Cristina. Good call on the cop, I think. Sundra has no choice but Becky. Cristina picks Rebecca over Stephannie, which I find an interesting decision based on appearances alone, and seriously, I wonder if Stephannie hurt herself with the ugly floppy hat she has on. Becky picks Candice over Stephannie; Stephannie joins Rebecca. So basically, we have one tribe with two white women and one tribe with two black women, which is a function of the fact that both of the first two people booted were men, so because the white and black tribes were the ones with two women, each side has a spare. Got it? Okay.

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