For Cod's Sake!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Wine, Women, And Intestinal Problems

Cirie and Chiclets now have a bit of a conversation. Cirie asks what Chiclets thinks of Bruce, and Chiclets says that she trusts him. They agree that they don't have the same feeling about Beefcake, which is making them wonder about the wisdom of the decision to keep him and boot Bruce. Courtney approaches this conversation, and Chiclets asks her how she feels about changing the game. Courtney is happy, but it turns out that Chiclets doesn't mean the real power move, which would be enlisting Beefcake or Bruce to get rid of Aras or Shane. She means the far less significant move of booting Beefcake instead of Bruce. They decide to bring in Shane to collaborate. Booo!

Chiclets brings Shane over and tells him that she wants to keep Bruce and get rid of Beefcake. Shane is now confident that Beefcake won't flip. Because of the way he swore on Shane's kid. Shane also swore on his own kid, or something, which he keeps doing. Essentially, Shane's kid is not going to make it out of this show alive, if you believe in that kind of thing. Shane now flips out at Courtney for not saying that she wanted to boot Beefcake an hour ago, when Aras was switching the boot to Bruce. Courtney puts up with Shane's griping for a while, and then Cirie jumps in to say that they're all thinking Shane was right now, so now they're all on the same page, so why worry over how they got there? Suddenly, she's the peacemaker. Shane is still bitching and moaning in his interview about how they're all "like women." Whatever that means. I mean, they are women, so...congratulations, Captain Observo.

Tribal council. Everyone files in. Jeff starts off by asking Shane about the fact that, at Casaya's last tribal council, they seemed disoriented. Is that different? Shane calls them "the dysfunctional functional tribe." He says that they can work together, but that the tribe can be tiring. Jeff asks how the shelter is surviving the rain, and Bruce mentions that he slept in the bathroom. "With the bottle of wine," Chiclets mentions. Bruce explains how Beefcake came in with the wine, and that he needed it with everything feeling so sore. Jeff asks Beefcake whether other people were okay with him taking the wine. He says that they weren't, actually, but reiterates that the entire potty party happened because he and Bruce got squeezed out of the shelter. Jeff asks if Bruce and Beefcake are afraid that they've excused themselves from the tribe, and Beefcake gives the non-apology apology about how he isn't sorry for what he did, but for how it made people feel. Which is really not being sorry at all. Jeff asks Cirie whether Beefcake screwed up, and Cirie says that it was a huge mistake, because the whole group fought to get the wine, and it belonged to everyone. She's not buying the "stuck in the rain" story. Aras jumps in to say that it's not fair to put it all on Beefcake, because Brucedrank the wine just as much as Beefcake did. Bruce agrees that he's equally guilty. He apologizes. But again, he qualifies his statement by saying that they should have come and talked to him if they were upset, and Aras says they shouldn't have to, and this is what happens when guys read too much Robert Bly, because God, okay, you're all hyper-aware of your feelings. Drink some chamomile tea and move the fuck on.

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