Free Agent

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Loyal Women

Albert and Sophie discuss how you can't talk strategy with Brandon because he always starts crying after five minutes. Heh. So they approach Coach and suggest ditching Edna. Coach has been WAITING for this moment and he delivers a monologue about how HE lost the challenge today. Finally! Someone pointed out that Coach didn't hit any targets either! Oh, wait. That's not what he meant. He meant that HE lost the challenge because of a failure in coaching, because Mikayla wouldn't take his advice. I really, really, really, really wish either Albert or Sophie would point out that Coach did the same as Mikayla. But they don't. Anyway, Coach goes on to deliver an incredibly sexist and creepy speech about how Edna will do whatever he tells her to, including following Ozzy around, even when he takes a shit, she would do it. Albert points out that Edna could be playing them all, and just faking her loyalty. Coach doesn't believe it, and says he would rather take useless Edna into challenges than willful Mikayla. I have a hard time believing that Coach would make the same speech about two men, and now I'm starting to understand why Coach always coached women's soccer teams. He's a paternalistic, sexist bastard. Anyway, Albert interviews that Coach isn't dumb to keep Edna around, since she seems to be in his pocket, but it's not good for the whole tribe or for Albert specifically.

Coach sees which way the wind is blowing and pulls Rick aside for a "man-to-man" talk. She, he talks to the men and reasons with them, but he orders the women around. Except Sophie, but she's older and larger than a size 2, so he probably considers her a man. Anyway, Coach's reasoning is that they should stick with the alliance they have, and not switch things up now, especially since Edna will "do as she's told." That is so gross to say about another grown-up, isn't it? She'll do as she's told. Or what? You'll spank her? Put her in time-out? Albert tells Rick that he's the deciding vote, since it's three against three at this point. Rick does NOT want that responsibility, since he's been largely invisible up until now. Well, as invisible as a dude with a giant cowboy hat and moustache can be.

Tribal Council. Probst immediately asks Coach what went wrong in the Challenge. Coach says they weren't working as a team, which wasn't the problem at all, although at least he does admit that he and Mikayla were both missing shots, and then says that he told Mikayla to take a break and she refused. Mikayla rolls her eyes and retorts that Coach never told her to just let Albert take over. Which is true. From Mikayla's standpoint (and let's be honest - she doesn't seem super bright), she could have thought Coach was telling her to rest because he thought she was tired out. Probst asks Edna if she's useless and Edna says she kind of is, in challenges at least. I'm paraphrasing there.

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