Gender Bender

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Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
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We're back from commercial with Chuay Gahn on Day 12. They return from the challenge by wading in through the water. How exactly does that work? Grindia complains that they have to go to Tribal Council; she doesn't feel good about it. She says her vote is between Ted and Clay, whom she claims are like "Mutt and Jeff, Fric and Frac." She says they're "joined at the hip." As opposed to being joined at the hip and ass. Grindia plans to explain to Helen and Jan why their best chance for long-term survival is a 3-3 alliance against the men. Otherwise, she thinks the women will get picked off. Ted yawns while Clay plays golf; we're supposed to think they're ignorant of this sneaky plot against them, but how could they think it'd be anything else? Grindia and Jan discuss how Clay's "old, old, old, old-school mentality" is the root of the tribe's divided state. And if that's not enough, his back hurts, too! And he's tired and takes naps! In an interview, Jan calls Clay the "main team splitter." What an official title! She thinks that if he leaves, they'll be able to heal their wounds and regroup as a tribe. We see Grindia approach Helen and lay out her plan. Helen is surprised that Ted isn't the women's pick for ejection, and Grindia explains that Jan thinks they'll need his strength in future physical challenges. Although Grindia would rather vote off Ted, she's worried that Jan would still vote for Clay, resulting in a 3-2 vote against her. She says that the worst end result would be a 3-3 tie and insists that if they can keep the girls together, they'll prevail. I still don't know how she's justifying the whole "rock in a bag" issue, but she manages to gloss over it quite nicely with Helen. She claims that they'll be able to vote Ted off next because they won't need him that far along but for now, "Janny is not down for that." She can live with Ted, and will be very happy if Clay goes home tonight. We're supposed to think Helen is considering this; we're also supposed to think Ted and Clay think Helen is considering this. Helen tells us she's still "betwixt and between," which sounds like the title of a Charmed episode to me. She says that this is where the competition part of the game comes in: "I wanna stay. I wanna play." As Helen tells us that would mean voting Grindia off, we see Grindia doing an enthusiastic "I'm awesome!" kind of cheer. Helen won't be happy voting Grindia off, because Ted and Clay do less work every day. She boastfully says, "I am the swing. I never thought I'd be the swing vote! Little old me? The swing vote? If my friends could see me now! You like me! You really like me!" Okay, so she stops after the "never thought I" part, but it's still obnoxious. As they head off to Tribal Council, Helen says she's still making her decision. She's Helen, so of course she knows all the arguments and facts, but the decision may remain unmade until she "pull[s] the cap off the pen."

We see a shot of the Chuay Gahn tribe walking through the fire, and I so wish I were watching the Buffy musical right now. Helen looks prettier with her hair down sans the floppy bow. Peachy laments the tribe's presence at yet another Council, and makes them inspect the torches of the first three departed players. He asks Ted how it feels to be the next to go, as opposed to how it feels to feel Grindia. Ted says it's painful but necessary that they do what they have to do. Clay can't really decide which aspects of the game are most difficult. He says his first question when he arrived was, "How hungry am I gon' git [sic]?" and that he now knows the answer to that question is "hungry as hell." He's tired and weak; the heat and humidity bother him, but he's still healthy and fine. Grindia winces at this, for some reason. Helen launches into a completely manic stream-of-consciousness monologue about all her innermost thoughts and worries: water, boiling, clean containers, tide, clams, crabs, clams, crabs, food, water, food, water, food, water. She admits that going to Tribal Council adds more stress to an already stressful situation; then Grindia flatly says that not everyone on the tribe is pulling his/her weight. Some aren't doing as much as they could do, and some lie around all day. "Some" is clearly code for "Ted and Clay." She and Clay stare each other down before Clay mumbles that some people go fishing and get food, and that "just because one doesn't cook and the other one does doesn't mean the other one's not gathering food to put in that pot." Now say that ten times fast. Jan says they may pull together during the challenges, but that there's a division within the tribe. I hope it's not long division, because she doesn't like that.

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