Survivor
Gender Bender

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Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
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Now we join Stompanie as she complains to Robb that while the others were working on the fire "or whatever the hell they're doing," the squid could have washed away. She compares the tribe's abilities to the joke about screwing in a lightbulb, and asks how many people it really takes. Stompanie, along with Jed, has an inherent dislike of the concept of teamwork. Which is probably exactly why Mark Burnett picked her for this show. The squid, by now, has turned into calamari as Erin tells us that no one wants Stompanie around because of her bad attitude. If she were Stompanie, she says, she'd stop being so grumpy and focus on trying to fit in. Also, if she were Stompanie, she could finally see her own toes. We leave the tribe with a shot of dejected Stompanie sitting with her head in her hands.

Over at Chuay Gahn, we stare into the fire's embers. Helen eats while Clay waves smoke out of his face. In honor of Halloween, some stuffed bat decorations hang in the corner of the cave. Except it's not Halloween in Thailand, but I'll still be damned if those are real bats. Jan tells us that they are tired and on-edge since the incident between Ted and Grindia; she claims their mood has mellowed. She explains that it's an unspoken Chuay Gahn rule not to speak of it again. As much as that qualifies as an explanation, anyway. Jan's hair is down from its standard afro puffs, and Farah Fawcett curls have settled in. And who ever thought I'd write the words "Jan" and "Farah Fawcett" in the same sentence? As she bemoans the lack of joviality around camp, she enunciates her words exactly as you might expect from a grade-school teacher. Which is to be expected, since she is a grade-school teacher. There's no good explanation why Helen sounds exactly the same while reading the clue aloud later on.

One little crab frolics in the surf; then a different kind of little crab gets washed over by the tide. Neither scuttles. Neither makes perfect little sandballs. A close-up of Grindia brushing her teeth with her finger and sand is completely unnecessary and gross. Grindia rubs sand into her front teeth; Grindia opens wide and rubs sand into her back teeth; Grindia rubs sand into her gums; Grindia spits sand into the ocean. Who needs to see that? But then I've got an oral non-fixation, hence my issues with people like Jed and Carol who select dentistry as their chosen profession. Ted does flabby sit-ups as Grindia voice-overs that his behavior lately has been "absolutely asinine." Those are some big words coming from the same person last week who threatened to punch a man's ass in the eye. She says that if Ted really wanted to let their conflict go, "then it would be good," but doesn't bother to mention that as soon as he does let it go, she plans to bring it up again with a vengeance. Grindia complains that Ted is "settin' a [sic] atmosphere" wherein no one laughs when she's around. You'd think she'd be happy about that, considering the mocking laughter that must usually accompany her. Grindia shreds a coconut with her teeth and bits of it fly around. It's very cartoon beaver-esque. And I do apologize if I've just somehow merged the concepts of "Grindia" and "beaver" in your mind. Grindia thinks that Ted is dealing with his anger by ignoring her, as opposed to by punching trees and screaming obscenities. She admits that it's his choice, but she resents that the other members of the tribe are now adopting the same approach. She concludes, "I feel like as a body...if Chuay Gahn was [sic] a body, that I'm the arm that got bit off by a shark, and now it's not there no more." Grindia joins the others, who are eating; only Jan looks up. Ted shoots Grindia a dirty sideways glance, and then tells us in an interview that he doesn't talk to, look at, or do anything with Grindia. Certainly, he doesn't grind her anymore. Initially, he thought she was a nice person, but when she tried to "exploit" his family and damage his name and character, he developed a different outlook. He concludes, "As far as I'm considered [sic], she's non-existent." As far as he's "considered"? Ted tells us that, in his mind, only five people exist in the tribe, and he hopes never to see Grindia again in his life once the game is over. He concludes, "I really can't stand her." He can, however, grind her.

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Survivor

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