Survivor
Gender Wars…And It's Getting Ugly

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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Some Pig

The women toddle off to bed, and Chris and Chad have a chat in which Chris makes the entirely correct observation that however Julie and Twila feared they would eventually fare within the Lopevi alliance, they certainly aren't any better off in Ami's, which seems centered on Ami and Scout. "But the beauty of it," Chris says confidently with a smug grin, trying to convince himself, "is that the game's not over." He assures the guys that "anything can happen," and then we see clouds cover the moon, so meteorologically, it seems like he's right. Cloud cover can certainly happen. And if that's the case, then all the old assumptions are pretty much out the window, man.

Morning comes to Vanuatu. Sarge and Chris chat, and as we watch Twila putter around camp doing work and engaging in other socially unpopular activities, Sarge tells Chris that, in fact, he was "hurt" to find that Twila was yanking their chains. Chris says he's just not sure what "reasoning" would have made Julie and Twila turn in that direction. Oh, never look for reasoning, Chris. That is a losing battle. He does speculate that it's "a woman thing," with which Sarge agrees emphatically. Seriously, girls are always talkin' loco.

Speaking of Sarge and his negative contributions to gender politics, he tells us that many things are running through his head about the women. And the first one is "despisal." Oh, Sarge. Duh. The word you're looking for is despision. In his interview, Sarge goes on to call the women "very conniving," and then he doffs his dweeby little hat in bitter congratulations. Now, in one of my favorite scenes of the week, Scout and Sarge sit around by the fire and she starts...singing. And she is not nearly good enough to be the kind of person who warbles at random at other people who haven't asked for a song. No one really is. But Scout is particularly not all that good. She keeps looking at Sarge with this warm smile, like she expects him to look back at her and grin, and then they'll both know that it's really okay that she's going to vote him off, because he understands how it is, and then they'll put their arms around each other and start swaying, and...it's just stupid. What she gets instead is Sarge staring determinedly at the fire with a look of blinding hate on his face. Seriously. There are little red hate flames shooting out of his eyes, like he's Captain Despisal on an old episode of The Superfriends. He could turn his head, stare hard, and break rocks. Scout sings and sings and brushes her hair and sings and brushes and sings. She clearly believes that everyone likes to hear a little music first thing in the morning. She apparently hasn't seen the way I pound the top of my alarm clock. Sarge stares into the fire, thinking about what he could get from a junk dealer for an old lady's artificial knee. He tells us, going for the understatement, that "it's awkward talking to any of them." Well, yes. Especially when they're incessantly singing. We now watch as Scout -- wearing big dangly earrings, and what's up with that? -- asks Sarge whether he thinks there will be a reward challenge today. He nearly buckles under the strain of answering, but ultimately gathers all his strength, swallows the desire to cram her buff up her nose, and finally chokes out, "Yeah. It might be." My goodness. So, so funny.

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Survivor

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