Peachy notes that the tally is 17-14 Jaburu, which means that the guys "need to score." "We need to score," Dave repeats in a smarmy manner. Gross. That joke was way too obvious, and he did nothing with it. Just left it there to flap on the dock like a dead fish. He asks Christy for shampoo. No, she tells him, she's afraid he's out of luck. Peachy points out that the girls only need one more for the win. Jeanne asks Dave if he's got shampoo. He does, of course. And, just as the producers were hoping, the women take home the bath stuff. I have to admit, I'm glad, because the sight of Roger using the tweezers would have been enough to put me off my feed for good, so it's a good thing that didn't happen. I don't know what he would do with them, but it wouldn't matter.
The women celebrate to the tune of mad salsa music. Because some of us really like stuff that smells good. No, I'm not being sarcastic. I have lotion that smells like tea and berries with which I am currently obsessed, and it takes me no more than ten minutes at Sephora to drop sums of money that exceed the GNP of small countries. At any rate, I liked this challenge. Everyone had fun, and it showcased some personalities. Also, it had things that smell good. Amusingly, in giving them the goods, Peachy mentions that the basket contains both "tweezers" and "eyebrow pluckers." Umm, Peachy? Tweezers are eyebrow pluckers, ya maroon. ["I think he might have thought that the cuticle nipper was some kind of eyebrow grooming machine." -- Wing Chun] The guys try to look unhappy, but they really actually care about conditioner, and they're just as happy to sit there and envision the topless group bathing that Jenna, Heidi, and Shawna will be doing later. Nah, that wouldn't really happen.
Evening. There is human warbling. Oh, look! The moon. At Tambaqui, the guys are exorcising whatever frustrations the reward challenge may have caused by stomping on things and chopping with their machetes. Rob loudly insists that no reward in hygiene products could have been as great as hearing that "some girls...want to get with [him]." Oh, dear. I fear that he took them a bit more seriously than he should have. Dave, ever the gentleman, offers to give up his sleeping space if Rob ever manages to bring a chick home with him. Oh, good. Welcome to the sophomore hallway at the off-campus house of Tam Beta Chi.
Now, we enter the creepy Love Connection segment in which the guys opine about the various available dollies while little pictures of the dollies float nearby in cheesy superimposed ovals, like Garrett Morris doing News for the Hearing Impaired. (Heidi: "GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO IS STILL DEAD!") Anyway, Rob says that Heidi is his favorite, but that she's looking a little rough, and "could really use the conditioner and maybe some of that soap." He says that she's about a 9.5 under normal conditions, but now she's all gross, so she's a 6, which gives him a shot. He doesn't seem to understand the "a receding tide lowers all boats" aspect of the calculation, but I suppose a guy needs a theory he can build a dream on. Elsewhere, Daniel says that he had a great time meeting Shawna. He is of the opinion that Shawna "digs" him, because of the "twinkle in her eye." He does not know the difference between the politeness and the digging, I am afraid. Roger says that he just enjoyed seeing the studmuffins make asses of themselves in front of the chicks. Heh. The guys agree that the women generally seemed pretty nice, except that Rob says that he doesn't like Joanna much. In an interview, he elaborates that her constant appeals to Jesus sort of confused him. "I didn't know that Jesus had a vested interest in Survivor," he says. Thank you, Rob. As I always say, don't ask for God's help on reality television, because God is in the tub. He then points out that Jesus would presumably root for the guys anyway. Hee. He's such a complete putz, but he's totally the one among these guys I would have been friends with in college. He wouldn't have admitted we were friends, but he would have stood endlessly in my doorway when his friends weren't around, trying to get me to laugh at his jokes. I'm sorry, where was I?