Oh, right. Dave is discussing Jenna's "dark, mysterious smile." Alex is intrigued by her also: "Who is she? We don't know." In an interview, Alex goes on for a bit about Jenna, talking about her "engaging stare," and as ridiculous as that remark would normally be, I am mesmerized by Alex's dimples, which are approximately the size of coffee cups. Goodness. They're almost freakish, but I like them. Dave says that Jenna is the hot girl at the bar who sits there and doesn't say anything, but just looks around at everybody waiting for somebody to make a move. And then, in an obvious shout-out, he says, "And if you're not That Guy, she'll shoot you down real quick." I completely agree. Jenna does not date anyone who is not That Guy. Dave interviews some more about Jenna, blah dee blah. He tries for some strange kind of class by calling her a "gorgeous individual," but his next comment is that "her butt is so sexy." Close, but no cigar, there, Dave-o.
The guys give Butch some grief about standing between Shawna and Jenna, and then he interviews that he's old and married and isn't supposed to notice them. "But of course, I'm not dead, either." I think Butch and Jenna would easily be the most scandalous hookup ever. Can you imagine? Rob then tells all the guys that he's most looking forward to seeing all the girls bathe. He envisions watching Jenna help Heidi wash her boobs. Aaaaand now he's not in my doorway anymore, because his friends just got back from the liquor store. Bye, Rob!
Morning becomes Jaburu. They've got their stanky clothes on, and they're taking baths in the river. At this point it's Jeanne, Deena, and Christy, or so it appears. Deena notes with dismay that her hair is falling out. Christy voices over that public bathing isn't really her idea of a good time. She then explains that the Heidi/Jenna/Shawna Axis of Skeevil doesn't exactly invite her when they go to frolic and wash. Honestly, Christy laughs and doesn't seem too regretful about this -- she just sees them as annoying girls of a type she's probably dealt with quite a lot. And her imitation of them worshiping themselves is pretty good.
Speaking of the Axis of Skeevil worshiping themselves, now it's time for them to bathe, in the scene that male Survivor viewers won when their representative soundly defeated Mark Burnett in a duel. The music is quite hilarious, and features a woman warbling in a high tone while luxurious arpeggios plink beneath her. It's all very feminine-product-commercial. The Axis lathers up and renders itself topless, and then it starts writhing and stretching and caressing its assorted boobs. I can understand how someone who digs chicks might like looking at Jenna and Shawna in this scene, I suppose, but honestly, Heidi looks utterly freaky to me. She is so skeletal that she has many, many, many bones sticking out, and I have never before seen such obviously delineated implants. You can practically see the Glad-Lock zippers. Zoiks. And for those of you who are interested in the substance, here's what Heidi has to say: "The cuter girls -- me and Jenna and Shawna -- kind of went off from the older women, because we're younger, and we're cuter, we've got better bodies, and for some reason, that's, like, a huge issue with older people." She says that just as snottily as you would think it would come out. Note that she doesn't say it's an issue for these particular women, she just declares it an issue with all women who are, you know, over twenty-five. Good grief.