Survivor
Girls Gone Wilder

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Roger That

A tiger peers through fronds as the tribe paddles back from the challenge. An old-looking otter appears to be struggling through the water, and I hope it didn't choke on a Coke flip-top. Back in the fisheyed interview, Rob informs us that the only way Roger could win a challenge is "if it's a contest -- Name that Perry Como Song, or perhaps What Type of Prune is This? -- or some sort of other thing that only an old man like Roger would be able to determine." And as much as that's untrue and hateful to older people, it still kind of amused me. Alex smugly tells us that the game worked out better than expected: "We had the best time out there. Naked chicks, shyeah! Pizza, shyeah! Roger was stupid enough to jump off and get himself nothin', shyeah!" He laughs as he claims that Roger has no idea of his imminent departure, and deems it a "beautiful day in the Amazon." He laughs himself nearly to the point of tears.

We rejoin the tribe, where Matthew is blowing on the fire while sticking his hands directly into it. Matthew obviously thrives on the pain. Deena tells us in semi-baby talk that after returning from the challenge, the men prepared wood because "that's what men do best," while the women stayed in front of the fire to keep warm. We see a quick, random shot of HeiDDi apologizing for "crowd[ing]" the others, and then Deena closes her interview by telling us that "poor Roger" was trying to plan tribal activities for the evening, completely oblivious to the fact that he wouldn't return.

Deena announces to the tribe that she doesn't have to pack, and then questions whether the others would be offended if she didn't. I'd be offended if she did pack. I'd also be offended if she talked to me the way she talks to these people. But then again, I'm not a moron. While all the other members of the tribe encourage Deena not to pack, Roger sits and stares blankly ahead. In an interview, he tells us it's a simple fact that the women are gone. He claims that everything is falling so easily into place that it's almost too good to be true. Didn't we hear all of this before?

Back at camp, HeiDDi is going on about the peanut butter, and Rob reenacts his "Jeff, get these girls some peanut butter" shtick. Rob needs to accept that while he may be funny, he's not funny enough to repeat all his jokes. HeiDDi claims that in order to get more peanut butter, she'd grind the peanuts herself -- between her breasts, no doubt.

In a joint interview with HeiDDi, Jenna announces that they are the "original Survivor Girls Gone Wild." HeiDDi adds, "We're the Amazon chicks!" and then cracks herself up over it. Jenna's comment? Kind of funny. HeiDDi's? Not so much. They insists that they're having fun, and Jenna is amused that the men are talking about how they'll try to "spare" the women in the process of voting them off. Jenna says it's especially bad with Roger, who thinks he's "just got it in the bag."

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