Survivor

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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All That Glitters

Probst sends La Flor off to collect their reward, but there will be no slo-mo walk of shame just yet -- NaOnka and Kelly B. pick up the basket of fruit to carry together. They both spot the hidden immunity idol clue hidden in there, and they both know the other one saw it. NaOnka says Kelly B. must have been very upset that NaOnka of all people saw the clue because NaOnka seems to think that Kelly B. hates her as much as NaOnka hates Kelly B., which I don't think she does. In fact, I don't think Kelly B. thinks about NaOnka much at all. Anyway, NaOnka says her plan is to go for the clue as soon as they get back to camp. Why not now? That would be pretty awesome, if NaOnka just suddenly threw down the fruit basket and lunged for the clue in front of everyone, including Probst. They finally leave, and Espada's slo-mo walk of shame is done in silence.

It's a very tense walk back to camp for NaOnka and Kelly B., each waiting for the other one to make a move for the clue. And yet, when the move finally does happen, the fucking cameramen are too busy following Alina and, like, a pepper tree to catch it. BOOOOO, cameramen! I hope they learned a valuable lesson from this, which is to never take the camera off NaOnka, because you never, ever know what she'll do or when. Anyway, when the camera does get to Kelly B. and NaOnka, they're well into their struggle for the clue, wrestling for dominance over the fruit basket. The rest of their tribemates have no idea what the hell just happened, and say "whoa whoa whoa!" and "what are you doing?" and "what is that about?" Can you imagine what that must have been like for them? Like, one minute you're walking back to camp all happy that you have fruit and no Tribal Council, and the next, NaOnka is throwing down with the girl with one leg on top of your fruit basket. That must have been so bizarre.

NaOnka emerges with the clue (and let's face it -- if Kelly B. had managed to get the clue, NaOnka would have clubbed her with one of those honeydew melons and then ripped her leg off while snatching the clue away from her. And she would have done it happily, because NaOnka has just been waiting for any excuse to do that. So it's best that Kelly B. didn't get the clue). "Sorry about squishing your bananas," she says to the tribe. I don't think she's the least bit sorry, though. She interviews that she was going to do anything and everything necessary to get that clue, which represents "one million dollars" to her. I don't know. I think she'd have a better chance to win if she hadn't beaten Kelly B. up to get the clue. She can only use the idol once; but that display she just put on is going to be on everyone's minds at every Tribal Council. Or at least, it should.

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Survivor

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