Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Two Little Green Men

BUT THEN! Parvati isn't done. "And Jeff," she says; "I would just like to increase our odds." She reaches back into the bag and pulls out her second idol, handing it to JERRI. "Damn it," J.T. says. HAHAHAHA! It's a known fact that he gave Li'l Russell an idol that just took him out of this game and it's a known fact that Parvati is amazing. Sandra and Jerri hand Probst their idols, seemingly shocked at this turn of events. And grinning their asses off, don't forget. Probst proclaims that the idols are real and any votes against Sandra and Jerri will not count. The Heroes know they are well and truly fucked. "I knew we shouldn't have trusted that [BLEEP]," Rupert says, because it's never too early to say I told you so. Probst reads off the first vote: Jerri. Jerri has never felt so relieved in her life. Parvati too, I think, because now she knows for sure that giving the idols away was her smartest move. And it really was smart. From stepping off that pole and giving Danielle immunity to handing immunity to Sandra and Jerri, she had this entire game figured out this week and basically made her entire tribe immune. She knew the Heroes wouldn't vote out Li'l Russell and she was sure enough, based on Amanda's dumbassness, that they weren't voting for her, either. Giving immunity away is always a dumb move, but in this case, it really helped her. Now she might have Sandra's loyalty because she gave her that idol. And her tribe is the majority. All five votes for Jerri don't count. The sixth vote is for J.T., and he knows he's done. He gives Li'l Russell a "well done" and shakes his hand even though the person who really played this whole thing out was Parvati. But she's a woman and a pariah, so he says nothing to her. As he says his good-byes to his tribe, Li'l Russell mutters to Parvati "you have some explaining to do." "Secret!" she shrugs. Quit trying to ruin her moment, Li'l Russell.

J.T. bids his tribe adieu with a "good luck, fellas," which tells you pretty much everything you need to know about how much he dislikes and doesn't trust women. But just in case you weren't absolutely sure, he ends his good-bye speech with "don't ever trust [villains]. Worse than that, don't ever trust women. Ever, ever, ever." Hey, dumbass! Li'l Russell (A MAN) betrayed you, which you gave him a free pass to do because you were so scared of a women's alliance that never even happened! If only you'd listened to Sandra (A WOMAN), the only Villain who told your tribe the truth, this might not have happened to you. But I'm really glad it did.

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Survivor

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