Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Two Little Green Men

Hugs and handshakes are exchanged, and then the mystery box is opened. Inside are new black buffs, orders to think of a new tribe name and design a flag, and food. Not like those awesome merge feasts we've seen before, though -- this time they only appear to get, like, a thing of ham and some vegetables. Colby spouts some nonsense about two tribes becoming one, and then it's time to think of a new name. "The Hillians!" suggests (I think) Sandra, who is clearly better at sneaking around and just about everything else than she is at thinking of tribe names. Someone (I think it was Amanda?) puts in for "Yin Yang," and since that's the worst suggestion by far, you know it will win. It always does. Oh, and then Jerri suggests "All Villains" and all we're missing from the group's reaction to that is a record scratching sound effect. "Really, Jerri?" Colby says. Rupert interviews that they're "all winners" and "all all-stars" and "all something good and positive," so he doesn't get why these Villains are, basically, acting like Villains. Yes, why should they when they can act like Villains but pretend they aren't and call themselves Heroes?

Meanwhile, no one has kissed Parvati's ass in like five minutes, so she sulks in the shelter by herself and waits for someone to notice. But no one does, as everyone is too busy listening to Jerri's story about how she built her own covered wagon last year. How very "Oregon Trail" of her! Did she shoot a buffalo and was only able to carry 200 pounds back to her wagon, too? When she reached Snake River, did she try to ford it or caulk the wagon and float it across? Or did she shell out $5 for one of those hideously overpriced ferries? Meanwhile, Amanda is talking about someone who had a worm under his skin. "If I had that, I think I'd cut myself," Li'l Russell says. How emo of him! Parvati walks off to complain to Danielle about how mean everyone is, although at first she has to pretend like she doesn't want to talk about it. She interviews that she knows she isn't welcome here and that the Heroes wanted her gone last night. "I'm thinking they're gonna vote for me because they want me gone," she says. Huh, that makes sense! Kind of like how they don't vote for other contestants because they want them to stay. Parvati asks Danielle if the Heroes think she's stupid. Danielle says they apparently do, and they're operating under the assumption that they have a 6-4 majority with Li'l Russell on their side. "Let them think that," Danielle shrugs. Yeah, easy for her to say when she isn't the target. "I'm over it," Parvati brats. She then interviews that she is offended by the Heroes' treatment of her and ready to pick them off one by one. She sends Danielle away, warning her not to be seen speaking with self-appointed pariah Parvati. Parvati then takes a second to make sure the camera gets the best possible angle of her as she walks away from the beach in her bikini while stroking her hair and looking like an ultimate Bond Girl. But one of the bad ones.

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Survivor

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