Survivor

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Sara M: A | 3 USERS: A+
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Two Little Green Men

Day 26 dawns. The editors seem to hate that Yin Yang name as much as I do, because they're still calling this the "merged tribe." The contestants eat breakfast and all seems to be well. Until Parvati ruins EVERYTHING by getting herself a banana. Dun dun dunnnnnnn! If you'll recall, the Heroes are batshit about their stupid bananas. They voted James out not because he couldn't move, but because he ate too many bananas and didn't offer any to anyone else. Bananas are serious business here. "We just ate," Colby says. "Why do they wanna eat again?" Rupert asks. He decides the Villains are a "greedy-ass, eating-ass, pain-in-the-ass tribe." He explains in an interview that coconuts are aplenty, but everything else is scarce and should be rationed equally. But the Villains just eat whatever and whenever they want! It's kind of like they have no idea that the Heroes have rules governing their food supply. As if no one told them that and they can't read minds.

The Heroes sans Colby go for a walk. Rupert suggests that Li'l Russell is playing them. J.T. immediately comes to Li'l Russell's defense, saying there's no way Parvati didn't play an idol at Tribal Council and Li'l Russell isn't true to his word. Amanda agrees. Rupert begs them to reconsider, saying Li'l Russell "is on the Villains' side for a reason!" Oh man, when Rupert is the voice of reason on your tribe, you are in some serious trouble. He finally gets the Heroes to agree to test Li'l Russell's loyalty by telling him they're going to vote for Parvati, then voting for someone else. If Li'l Russell is trustworthy, he'll vote for Parvati and whoever the five Heroes write down will go home. If not, it'll be a 5-5 tie. Candice says nothing about any of this, because she has completely checked out of the game at this point. Amanda interviews that this is a good thing because if they trust Li'l Russell and he betrays them, they'll "lose [their] lead," which would "be awful." First of all, Amanda, you guys don't have a lead. It's 5 to 5. Second of all, stop doing your helpless little girl "that'd be awful!" pout and start being awesome like that one episode in Season 16 where you idol'd Alexis out of the game. J.T. tells Rupert that he's being overly paranoid, then interviews that Rupert is a moron and he's been doing "Rupert's strategical play for him thus far." I love it when people try to look smart by saying things like "thus far" immediately after saying words that don't exist, like "strategical." "He needs to be told where to vote by someone he really trusts and let that be done," J.T. says. He thinks Rupert is foolish to believe what Sandra told him over "the obvious truth" that Li'l Russell told him. Wow, the editors have switched their hatred of Rupert and desire to make him look like a mindless buffoon at every turn to J.T. Back in the woods, Rupert tells Candice that the fact that Li'l Russell swore on his kids' lives makes him immediately suspect. Except that he wasn't suspicious until after Sandra talked to him, but still. "Okay," Candice just says. I wonder if she was talking to Rupert or answering a question she posed to herself in her mind about if she should hang herself from that tree branch now.

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Survivor

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