A Million Dollars' Worth Of Lip Venom
Now, Jim. Jim has all this firefighter experience, and then he comes out, his arm falls off, and he has to go home. Jim says that he still had a great time, and he insists that he'd do it all over again just to be there for three days. "The arm's doing good, and I'm going to Did-neyland," he says, just like that. I'm not sure he really would have been great television.
And now, Brian. He is, predictably, the only one Judd decides he simply must impersonate and mock, and Jeff goes on about how Brian told them he was a student of the game. It's sort of bullshit, because everybody says what they say to get on the show, you know? I think throwing your application tape back in your face is pretty weak. Not unfair, just weak. Brian starts, I think, to get after Jeff for making fun of the fast way he talks, which is part of What People Make Fun Of About Brian and probably always have. Jeff asks Brian what he didn't anticipate. Brian doesn't quite answer the question -- the question he answers is really, "If you're so good, why did you lose?," which is what Jeff really wants to ask him, which Brian picks up on, because he's just a tiny bit smarter than Jeff Probst, you know? What Brian says is that the game involves a lot of luck, and that you have to be at peace with that. He knows he might have been able to play better and stay longer, but that you can't solve everything. In particular, he points out the way they were like, "You have tribe pride! Fuck you!" Although he doesn't say "fuck you," and I wish he had. As I have already said. "You have to be okay with luck being a factor," he says. If I could sew that into the underwear of everyone who ever goes on this show, the world would be a much happier place. Jeff clarifies that he's not picking on Brian, even though he totally is. Wuss. At least admit it. He calls Brian "delightful," and I agree.
And now, Brooke. Who? Jeff asks her whether she got in trouble because she got labeled as smart, which is...not what I remember. ["I didn't even remember that there was a Brooke this year. She and Brianna and Morgan all could have been one person, as far as I am concerned." -- Wing Chun] But it's kind of what Brooke remembers. She says that she thinks her first tribe dug that she was smart, but that after the switch, she thinks that Steph and her ilk were determined to get her out because they thought she wasn't an athlete. You can see from the tightness in her face how much she hates Steph.