MONDO EXTRAS

And now, because it is inevitable, we have to talk to Judd, and we have to look upon his "bit by a freaking crocodile" and "scumbags" business. Of course, when this clip has played, Judd has to tell Jeff that he was just being honest, which, as you know, makes everything okay. You can tell that Judd is one of those guys who has seen himself on television enough to know that he came off like the lone dickweed at the end of a season when everyone else decided that getting over it was the way to go, so he's going for redemption here, but his heart just isn't in it. Jeff asks what the relationship now is like between Judd and Steph. Judd says that Steph is "awesome," and speaks the immortal words, "Nobody hates to lose." Pause and chew on that bon mot for a minute. As the silence grows more awkward, Judd says, "She's still a good girl. She played hard, so." Jeff asks Judd how he's been perceived, and what it's like being out in the world and being recognized. Judd reports, "They look at me and they say, 'Holy cow, that's the big fat dude from Survivor.'" It's hard for me to believe they don't ever say "That's the big crazy asshole," but then, we are all influenced by our own perceptions. Jeff asks Judd if he minds being perceived as a "villain," and Judd goes back to shrugging and saying that he was "brutally honest." Nothing like a guy who's sure that being led around by your id is the best way to ensure that you're doing the right thing. "I said it the way it was," he insists. Of course, "the way it was" in that case had to do only with his own attitude. He wasn't "telling the truth" about anything except that he was a petty, mean, bad sport. ["...smanship." -- Wing Chun] If I resent you for a stupid reason and I tell you straightforwardly how much I resent you, it's pretty hilarious for me to then be proud of myself for my total honesty. It's one of my favorite defenses when people act like total jackasses -- "What would you have me do with my unjustified and hypocritical anger? Lie?"

Jeff then asks Judd how things are with Margaret, considering their rather awful blowup at tribal council. Jeff has never seen anything quite like that, because he doesn't usually hang with crazies. Judd says that it was "part of [his] strategy," and then he smiles, and somehow, this is...accepted? As an excuse? And people laugh? And he says, "No hard feelings whatsoever"? Somebody really, really needs to explain to Judd that "no hard feelings" is an expression of forgiveness. The full sentence when it is used in the declarative sense is, "I have no hard feelings." Not "You have no hard feelings." You can't punch someone in the jaw and then be like, "No hard feelings. Hey, why are you getting mad? I said 'no hard feelings'!" Jeff also says he just wants to clear up with Judd that Judd did lie, and that he's kind of tired of seeing Judd look around with shock, insisting that at least he never lied. Jeff points out that, even after being confronted about his lie about the idol, Judd still did his exit interview and insisted that he never lied. Judd tries to bail out again by pointing out that, the night before the lie, he was drunk. So he doesn't remember. Or he isn't sure. Or he went nuts. Or he was having a blackout. Or something. It might have been his twin brother Schmudd. The guy would really, really be better off if he would just own it.