Survivor
Guatemala Reunion

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A Million Dollars' Worth Of Lip Venom

Jeff would now like to talk about Stephenie's "stellar" record in challenges. She has participated in forty-six challenges, and she has won ten and lost thirty-six. On the other hand, she lived through twenty-five tribal councils. Jeff thinks that this speaks well of her game, at least on some level: "Hats off to you for that." The entire challenge record thing is somewhat of a BS statistic, of course, because Steph doesn't have total control over all the team challenges, and it's not like you should expect an even win-loss record in individual challenges where there are often four or six or however many people playing. It's still a cute number, though. There's not a league where they're going to tell you that 10 and 36 is a good record or can be spun to be so. Better than the Packers, though. (Oh! Unnecessary roughness!)

And now, because it is inevitable, we have to talk to Judd, and we have to look upon his "bit by a freaking crocodile" and "scumbags" business. Of course, when this clip has played, Judd has to tell Jeff that he was just being honest, which, as you know, makes everything okay. You can tell that Judd is one of those guys who has seen himself on television enough to know that he came off like the lone dickweed at the end of a season when everyone else decided that getting over it was the way to go, so he's going for redemption here, but his heart just isn't in it. Jeff asks what the relationship now is like between Judd and Steph. Judd says that Steph is "awesome," and speaks the immortal words, "Nobody hates to lose." Pause and chew on that bon mot for a minute. As the silence grows more awkward, Judd says, "She's still a good girl. She played hard, so." Jeff asks Judd how he's been perceived, and what it's like being out in the world and being recognized. Judd reports, "They look at me and they say, 'Holy cow, that's the big fat dude from Survivor.'" It's hard for me to believe they don't ever say "That's the big crazy asshole," but then, we are all influenced by our own perceptions. Jeff asks Judd if he minds being perceived as a "villain," and Judd goes back to shrugging and saying that he was "brutally honest." Nothing like a guy who's sure that being led around by your id is the best way to ensure that you're doing the right thing. "I said it the way it was," he insists. Of course, "the way it was" in that case had to do only with his own attitude. He wasn't "telling the truth" about anything except that he was a petty, mean, bad sport. ["...smanship." -- Wing Chun] If I resent you for a stupid reason and I tell you straightforwardly how much I resent you, it's pretty hilarious for me to then be proud of myself for my total honesty. It's one of my favorite defenses when people act like total jackasses -- "What would you have me do with my unjustified and hypocritical anger? Lie?"

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Survivor

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