Survivor
He's a Ball of Goo!

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Goo Goo Gotchoo

A shark swims in the ocean and then, apparently, right up onto the Malakal beach as it heard rumors of how awesome it was. Unfortunately, it swam a little too close to Amanda, WHO FREAKING KILLED IT WITH HER BARE HANDS!!! What!!! I'm not even sure how she managed to pull this off, as the cameras didn't see fit to capture the moment (nice job, there, guys), but I guess the shark swam into their net and got trapped and then Amanda, like, killed it. Go, Amanda! Unfrozen Caveman Firefighter guesses the shark is thirty or forty pounds, and while I wouldn't give it that much, it's still big. Certainly bigger than the menacing-looking freshwater eel I once ran screaming away from when wading in a stream. Ozzy is really impressed and tells us that Amanda "wrestled a four-foot shark by herself." Again, it's a little bit smaller than that and I'm starting to wonder if it wasn't just dead on the beach already and Amanda found it there and told everyone she killed it (it kind of looks like it was sitting on the beach for a while before Amanda found it), but I'm still impressed. Ozzy says shark-wrestling is "pretty attractive to a guy like me." I'm sure Amanda's gorgeous face and body have nothing to do with that attraction at all. The tribe cook and eat their shark and say they are now ready to win the challenge. "Oh my god!" Erik sing-songs, probably because he just saw Ozzy do something really awesome.

Immunity Challenge time! This week, there are four tiles hanging on some ropes. Hanging from those tiles are some square puzzle pieces. Four tribe members have to throw rocks to break the tiles, releasing the puzzle pieces. Once all the tiles have been broken, they'll drag the pieces in and give them to three tribemates, who will assemble the large puzzle under the guidance of the remaining tribe member, who has a seat overlooking the board. The trick to the puzzle is that each piece has different colors on it, and the colors on all of the sides have to match that of the pieces next to them. The tribes figure out where everyone's going and we see that Unfrozen Caveman Firefighter, Tracy, Erik, and Ozzy will be throwing for Malakal, while James, Jason, Alexis, and Jonathan will be throwing for Airai. Chet and Eliza have been selected as the puzzle-solvers for each team.

Malakal starts off well, with both Ozzy and Tracy breaking tiles. Unfrozen Caveman Firefighter, however, totally sucks. Ha ha ha! His throw isn't even close. Over at Airai, Jonathan gets one tile while James breaks one only halfway, which means it doesn't release the pieces and will have to be broken again. Oh, that sucks. And, actually, that's exactly what Jonathan tells Probst. Erik breaks another tile for Malakal, which means everyone except Joel on that team has broken a tile. Joel misses another tile. Ha ha ha! Over at Airai, James half-breaks another tile. What is he doing wrong? Jason manages to break a tile for reals, but Erik gets Malakal's last tile and the team drags their pieces in. Chet starts telling them where to put the pieces, while Jonathan hits one of the broken tiles but still doesn't completely break it. "I mean, MY ASS!!!!" he screams. That was great. James cracks up, but Probst sternly tells them to "stop bitching and start throwing." Ugh, Probst is such a teacher today.

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Survivor

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