Survivor
He's a Ball of Goo!

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Goo Goo Gotchoo

Jonathan breaks one of the half-broken tiles on his next turn. Jason manages to get the last one, and Eliza cheers them on, saying the other team isn't close and they can still win. We see that, while Malakal has all of their pieces on the board, they can't get all the colors to match up. Chet directs them from above, but I can't tell how well he's doing. Meanwhile, Eliza takes control, giving her team specific instructions on where to put the pieces. Indeed, she seems to be looking at what the puzzle is supposed to look like when finished rather than just throwing all the pieces down and seeing what matches up and hoping for the best. And then the Unfrozen Caveman Firefighter decides it's time for him to take charge because he hates Chet that much. Jonathan also coaches from the sidelines, telling Eliza to look for the "big picture" and a "bigger pattern" on the board. Oddly enough, he does not seem to think it wise to convey this information by bossing people around and undermining Eliza. Chet tells Cirie to move a piece, but Joel tells her that it's right and should stay. Cirie isn't sure whom to follow. Meanwhile, Airai solves their puzzle. Probst comes over and checks it out and indeed pronounces them the winners. They all jump up and down cheering, especially Eliza, who even gets another hug from James! Eliza kicked ass this week. Probst hands the immunity idol to her and tells Malakal he'll see them tonight.

The stupid Sprint player of the week commercial has Cirie as one of its candidates even though she's done nothing all episode. She wouldn't even cut the chicken's head off and she works in surgery! But there's fifteen minutes left, so...thanks for spoiling that, Sprint.

Malakal returns to camp, and Joel is the first to tell us that he's really disappointed in his team and hates losing. Then look in a fucking mirror, Joel. He thinks the only way for the team to start winning is to get rid of Chet. He tells Erik this, and Erik agrees. They both want Chet gone and screw the numbers. "This game is a game for strong people," Joel says. Yeah, because look at all those powerhouses who have won in the past. There have been some for sure, but there have been a lot more who got voted out, and early. This show has proven, time and time again, that it takes more than muscle to win this game. You'd think a "fan" would know that.

Joel continues to dazzle us with his charm as he says he's never encountered someone in his life who was so "spineless." "It's almost like he's a wet rag or a ball of goo. There's absolutely zero honor whatsoever in keeping somebody like that on our team." Except for last week, when that's exactly what you did. "If you went back to medieval times, I think we'd kill him ourselves," Joel finishes. Honestly, I really wonder how much of Joel's disgust with Chet is about Chet being "weak" and how much is about Chet being gay. The "spineless" and "wet rag" comments make me suspect this, as well as Joel's really personal-seeming disgust with Chet specifically. I mean, Kathy is just as weak and I never saw Joel say anything about her. While Chet suns himself on the raft, Joel tells Ozzy he wants to vote Chet out tonight. He makes some stupid card playing metaphor to justify this, but I don't care. Ozzy, of course, thinks this is a great idea.

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Survivor

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