Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Crystal Clear

Kelly decides to do some damage control. She says she wasn't going around knocking Crystal for crying. Ace was doing that. At this, Ace jumps in and tells her to stop trying to throw him under the bus "for no apparent reason" (I think the reason is very apparent -- she wants to tribe to vote Ace out and not her), and explains that all he said about Crystal was that he understood why she was upset because losing all the time is very frustrating. Probst asks Kelly if Ace is telling the truth. She says he's lying, but she is incapable of presenting an articulate and well-reasoned argument, so no one is going to believe her over a guy with a fake English accent. "Honestly, Kelly, I'd be impressed if you understood what I was saying half the time," he says. Yes, well, it is difficult when the accent keeps shifting, but I don't think that's what he meant. Meanwhile, Sugar is having a great time. Kelly says that Ace always has to have the last word, effectively giving herself the last word.

Probst asks Matty if he's feeling secure tonight. Matty says this tribe is completely illogical, so anyone could go home tonight. With that, it's time to vote. Ace votes for "Kelli," and I think he spelled her name wrong on purpose. We don't see who Crystal votes for, but she says "forget you. Go home." I don't care who goes home tonight, to be honest. I hope it's Ace, because I can't stand him and I'd love to see Probst's head explode, but I doubt it'll happen.

Probst returns with the urn and asks if anyone wants to play her idol. Sugar stays put. Probst reads the votes: first vote is for "Kelli." Second is for Crystal. Third vote is for Kelly, and she nods, pretty sure she's going home tonight. And then the rest of the votes are for Kelly, so she's right. Crystal is very pleased, as is Ace. And probably Probst too, since he hated her so much. Kelly walks out and Probst says this is the first Tribal Council where he's seen some "true passion." What does that even mean? Did Sugar leave the idol in the Tribal Council fire for safekeeping? Was it weak of Crystal to cry over the Danishes? So many questions in this episode.

Oh, and in the ending credits, we see that Crystal accompanied her vote for Kelly with a big ol' middle finger. That almost redeems her shameful athletic performance thus far.

You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com, especially if you know where she can get a really nice HDTV for cheap.

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Survivor

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