High School Friend Contest

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Poker In The Rear

Challenge. They're all standing on a floating platform that's basically two big squarish frames. They'll divide into two teams of four, and one member of each team will be inside one of the squares in a little boat. The other three members of each team will have buckets, and will use them to throw water into the little boat of the opposing team's boater, trying to sink it. The boater can bail with his or her hands, and can paddle to try to move the boat away from the buckets. It's best out of three, so you have to sink the other team twice. The reward is that the winning team of four will go to an "ancient village" for a "Chinese meal." Furthermore, the winning team will get a scroll. With any luck, the scroll will be delivered via your team being bonked on the head with it, which is the only way its obvious meaning could be made any more obvious. Jeff announces that captains will be chosen at random, followed by the treasured "schoolyard pick." Peih-Gee and J-R are captains. J-R takes James; Peih-Gee takes Frosti. James takes Todd, Frosti takes Erik, Todd takes Amanda, and Erik is left choosing between Denise and Courtney. Peih-Gee points out that you want a tiny person for the boat, so they take Courtney. You know who were the dumb-asses here? James, who took Todd for his team, and Todd, who took Amanda. You don't stack your team with your allies when the reward is a trip away from camp, lunkheads! The idea is to avoid having everyone who could potentially align against you left alone to plot freely. There's absolutely nothing they could have done that would have been worse than leaving this particular group of people together to have all sorts of conversations they won't know anything about. How hard is this to figure out? At any rate, this leaves Denise behind, and her anti-reward is that she doesn't get to participate in the challenge at all, so she has no chance of being part of the reward. Poor lunch lady.

First round, the boats contain Todd and Courtney. Courtney gets herself in trouble when she drifts near the side and winds up close enough to the throwers on the other team that they just pour water into her boat. Todd doesn't drift, for which Jeff Probst praises him generously. So Courtney gets sunk. In the next round, Frosti and Amanda are in the boats. Frosti gets sunk exactly as Courtney did, by drifting to exactly the same spot she did, which makes me suspect that something about the structure caused the movement of the water to pull the boats in that direction, because otherwise, why did they both -- one heavy and strong person, one light and weak person -- end up drifting to precisely the same spot? Obviously, they should have had the teams switch off sides each round like you switch ends of the field in football (which also allows Brett Favre to touch as much of the grass on the field as possible, making it worth more on eBay to his freakish minions in the broadcast booth), but obviously, they didn't.

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