Survivor
Hog Tied

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Djb: B- | Grade It Now!
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You Mean "Chopping Block." CHOPPING BLOCK, YOU FOOL!

Tyra Mail! Er, I mean, "Treemail." Yasur discovers a rough-hewn wooden box with a small fake (I think) pig inside, and Lisa sounds out the note using her context cues: "You are likely to become exhausted/ So here's to mud in your eye." Lisa editorializes, "Oh, god," while Eliza silently considers what trough there is big enough to fill her gargantuan eyes with mud. Continuing on: "It's all for creature comforts/ To help improve your sty." The consensus is that they're going to be partaking in pig wrestling, which for some reason causes them to spontaneously do a group cheer where they all link hands and scream, "Yasur!" Don't get used to saying that word and smiling at the same time.

But first, healing. "My apologies to all of you for the horrible, horrible things that I said to you in my mind last night," Rory explains. In his mind? He said it all to himself? Was that sequence where he was rebuking them all for their shoddy treatment of him a scene from Survivor Herman's Head? "When I get angry, I tend to become extraordinarily hurtful." He vamps on that he came to them with the intent to be completely loyal to them, and that he couldn't go back to Lopevi because now that Bubba's gone, they'll think he sold his old teammate out. ["Which he did, but even if he hadn't voted for Bubba, Bubba would still be gone, so I doubt the men of Lopevi would hold that against him. Although it is true that Rory will be the first to go from the original Lopevi alliance, that has nothing to do with Bubba's departure and everything to do with the fact that they hate Rory." -- Wing Chun] I'm sure there's some faulty internal logic at work here I could pick to shreds, but, again, I haven't seen enough of this season to know what it is. "I will not continue to slave around camp ["he just had to say 'slave,' didn't he" -- Wing Chun] if I do not have a shot of making it to Tribal Council." In the confessional that follows, he tells us that his speech was intentionally cheesy and was just designed to sway the ladies with his brand of fierce smooth-talkin'. It's a nice bit of damage control, but I kind of didn't believe a word of it. ["I resent it because I don't think he'd be trying to get men to break a pre-existing alliance on his behalf by making them feel guilty; I think he's trying to guilt the women so that they'll go out of their way to prove they really are nice, and he thinks that will work because they're women and are basically soft-hearted, which is a pretty sexist tack for him to take." -- Wing Chun] Besides, if his explanation about his actions doesn't come with an ass-related explanation, how are we supposed to know what he's talking about?

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