Honeymoon Or Not?

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: A+

They arrive at the beach and a red tent with red striped chairs and champagne and bottled water. Jerri tells us it's a "spread" -- she likes that word. There's fruit, and pasta salad, and "wrapped sandwiches" -- it looks like Peachy just paid a little visit to the local gourmet deli. There's also Dureet Toes. Next up is the necessary pigging out sequence but the chewing shots are thankfully missing. Jerri takes Colby's picture with a product-placed camera and then he takes hers but she doesn't cast a reflection. Colby says he feels spoiled and Jerri points out the champagne. He says they don't need champagne if they're going diving, and Jerri says, "Sure we do. If I'm getting you all liquored up and in bed with me." Except the liquored up and in bed parts. In a confessional, Jerri tries to look pensive and says they feasted for a while and then started wondering how everybody else was doing but that "[she] knew."

Here's the poor-rice-eaters montage! Lamber looks like a zombie as she gathers wood. Keith's having a tough week -- or he's just a klutz. He nearly wipes out again as he pries wood from the ground. Tina and Elisabeth lay out. Nick tells us as he washes cups that he would have loved to get out and see the reef because they're always in the same spot. Are they not allowed to move from that spot?

Back at the reef, Jerri and Colby are snorkeling with an underwater camera. In a confessional Jerri says it's "too close to paradise" and that she can't find any apples around to entice Colby to bite into. She then covers her eyes and says it's very romantic. And then the dreaded, romantic Italian bistro music kicks in -- I think it's the same music they played during Idiot Seanvant's and Jenna's ambassador summit. Jerri has deluded herself into thinking this is "one hell of a first date." She then says she couldn't have gone with a better person than Colby and that it's "the perfect honeymoon without the sex."

Colby then tells us in a confessional that it's no honeymoon for him and just a break from the competition. As they prepare to go back, Colby tells Jerri he's going to be humble, but if somebody pisses him off he's going to say, "I got to go snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef. What'd you do today?" Except the person most likely to piss him off is Jerri, and that wouldn't really work. And besides, that person could just answer, "I spent the day in the company of someone besides Jerri Manthey." Jerri tells us she's going back "rejuvenated and renewed and a little bit more like [her] true self." She says she's tired of putting on a game face and being a "don't-mess-with-me-chick." She says her "tender side" was "touched today." Ew.

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