I Lost Two Hands And Possibly A Shoulder!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
I Lost Two Hands And Possibly A Shoulder!

My other favorite thing about this Dave sequence is that it's so obvious that Dave believes that everyone at home will be watching this, sympathizing with him because the rest of the tribe is so stupid. He's about five seconds from winking, throwing the hook 'em horns, and being like, "This one goes out to all the ladies posting on the ol' MySpace." As the rest of the tribe tries to solve a problem with balancing the wok, which arises at a time when he's lying down and isn't even looking, he butts in and starts telling them what to do, getting all, "Get it right," and "Get it done," and "Simple as that," and he gets up and starts stomping around camp, picking up a brick he's going to make them use even though they don't need it. It's very "WELL, I guess if I WANT anything I'm not INVOLVED in to get DONE, I will just HAVE to take OVER, YOU ARE WELCOME." He butts into the conversation and redoes everything himself, and on top of that, he's then all whiny about how it would have been easier to just do what he said from the beginning. Well, dictatorships are efficient, Dave, that is true. They have their drawbacks, I hope you would admit, but you do spend less time in meetings. Frosti tells Dave to stop bossing everyone, and interviews that after coming really close to going home last night, you'd think Dave wouldn't act like such an unabashed prick. Dave continues to roll his eyes at the tribe, because he simply has zero social skills and doesn't understand how leadership. I'm not sure how Dave sees all of this going -- like, everyone hates him now. He has no friends. He is the person who blew the last challenge. I'd like to hear again what the plan is, because aside from what the hell kind of a product he was paid to "model" for, I find that the biggest Dave-adjacent mystery on the show right now.

Challenge. Jeff calls everybody in, and Fei Long learns about the ouster of Ashley the wrestler. Nobody offers much of a reaction. It turns out, though, that Ashley was booted just in time to miss her favorite part, because this entire challenge is basically just straight-up wrestling, three men against three men or three women against three women, trying to throw all three members of the other tribe into the water. I have a feeling that the creativity well is running dry at the challenge factory -- this is just the Shoving And Eye-Gouging Challenge, and next week, I have a feeling it's going to be, like, Hit Each Other In The Forehead With This Slingshot. Or whatever the traditional Chinese equivalent of that would be. The reward for which they're playing includes comfort items from a lantern to a tarp to pillows and blankets, so this is one you actually want, as opposed to Pringles or whatever that will just make you gassy and miserable in your untoileted camp. Fei Long has to sit out a man and a woman, and they sit out Courtney and Todd. Hello, dummies! You don't sit your weakest at the reward. You sit your weakest at the immunity challenge! Not thinking very well, these guys.

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