Probst welcomes the new cast members to the stupid Redemption Arena to introduce them to the two returning cast mates. As they await Ozzy and Coach's helicopter, Edna comments that she hopes Li'l Russell isn't in there. "Oh my goodness, that would suck!" Li'l Russell's nephew says, playing it up way too much... just like the producers probably told him to. Li'l Li'l Russell gets another interview, in which we see "Russell Hantz' Nephew" where his job title should be, just in case you forgot it during the three seconds it wasn't mentioned. Li'l Li'l Russell says as soon as he heard that, he decided he would never tell anyone on the show his last name. If his uncle's secret-keeping ability is anything to go by, that means he'll tell everyone before the next commercial break. Anyway, it's going to be pretty tough for him to keep it a secret, since he has not one, but TWO tattoos that say "Hantz" on them, including one on his arm that says "Little Hantz." The fuck? Who gets a tattoo like that? My brother doesn't have a tattoo that says "Little Morrison" on his arm, and he has plenty of uncles and a father with that last name. Although I guess that's because my brother isn't a tiny little guy or a total idiot, like Li'l Li'l Russell.
Finally, the helicopter lands and out pops Ozzy. The blue tribe's Mikayla hopes Ozzy ends up on her tribe because he's good at fishing. The reception for Coach is a bit less enthusiastic. Actually, how is it at all fair that Li'l Li'l Russell is playing this game with someone his uncle once played it with? That could be such an unfair advantage, especially since the other contestants don't (yet) know about it. Mikayla interviews that Ozzy is amazing and great and such a good tribemate, while Coach is crazy and weird. I think it's safe to assume that Coach is going to be on Mikayla's tribe. Probst notes that Christine doesn't look too thrilled about the returning players. She isn't. She makes fun of Coach's dragon poses before calling him and Ozzy "temporary players." Well, that's the kind of talk that got Francesca voted out first just last season, so, good plan, Christine! Probst asks super-fan John what he thinks, but John would rather kiss Probst's ass and ask him to call him by his last name like he does for his other man-crushes. Probst does call him by his last name, but I have no intention of doing that. He asks, again, for John's reaction to Coach and Ozzy, and John proceeds to nerd out all over the place and admit to being a huge fan of the show and owning a collection of buffs. So I guess that solves the question of who is buying those stupid things.