Erik takes in the sights, which include a guy climbing a tree to retrieve betel nuts and so many topless women. "I'm sitting there ready to eat my food and the lunch lady doesn't have a shirt on," he reports. I'm sure she's thrilled to be called a "lunch lady." That's what you get for preparing a feast for American assholes who compare everything to high school. "Oh my gooood," Erik mutters to himself. I'm sorry, but even though they're all blurry, I can still tell you that these aren't exactly sexy boobs. Go watch some National Geographic and jerk off, child. "That's the most boobs I've probably seen in my whole life," Erik admits. The children of the village then engage in a tribal dance and song that involves whacking sticks together. Erik helpfully summarizes it as "some legend about their culture." "That was amazing," Erik says while wandering around aimlessly. Ozzy tells us that he loves going places with Erik because Erik is a naïve child who hasn't seen much of the world and so everything is new and awesome to him. We see Erik playing with a little kid, which was cute. Then he tries to learn the stick choreography from one of the dancers. He has trouble and requests betel nut. Yeah, that'll help. Erik reports that the betel nut relaxed him: "maybe too much." Sure enough, when night falls and everyone is sleeping in the super-special traditional hut for visiting dignitaries, Erik has to barf off the side. I'll bet the people of Yap were thrilled to discover that in the morning. Hooray for culture!













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