Survivor
I Promise

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The Wizard of Ozzy

The rain has stopped, so Ozzy goes to the water for a soak. This allows Parvati to complain to Alexis about what a brat Ozzy is, describing all the delicious food he got to eat and they didn't. I mean, come on, Ozzy. Even Jason knew better than to brag like that, and he is beyond dumb. A worried James goes up to Amanda and says "Parvati's tripping." Amanda agrees that Parvati has gotten close to Alexis and Natalie, and that she and Parvati haven't been as close since the merge. Neither have Amanda and Ozzy, ha ha ha! Amanda's life kind of sucks, and it's all thanks to Alexis, the friend- and boyfriend-stealer. "She's in love with girl power," James frets. Amanda doesn't tell him about Parvati's all-girl alliance, but she tells us that she's worried about Parvati, making alliances on her behalf with Alexis and Natalie, who Amanda has no interest in joining with and who Amanda doesn't know or trust. Meanwhile, the alliance she wants to stick with has Ozzy, who's a huge target with his idol and competitive edge. So huge, in fact, that Amanda worries someone in their alliance could turn against the others. Not that she'll do anything to prevent this, but she is worried.

Jason tells Erik that he knows his only chance is to win every single immunity challenge. Erik agrees, and says Ozzy is getting ready to win the challenge at all costs. Thanks for the tip, Erik. Now be a good boy and stick a spoon in some Rocky Road. Jason says he'll be just as ready as Ozzy, and that his motivation to win is much stronger than Ozzy's. Ordinarily, I'd say that's not good enough, but it seemed to be in the last immunity challenge and (spoiler!!) it got him pretty far in this one as well.

With that, the contestants head into immunity challenge. Cirie also returns to a round of applause and hugs from all the assholes who didn't pick her to compete. Probst takes back the immunity necklace while Ozzy eyes it hungrily. Perhaps too hungrily, as we'll soon see. For today's immunity challenge, each contestant's arm will be raised and tied to a bucket. If you lower your arm, the bucket will tip over and dump colored water on you. That's right -- they put paint in the water just to make these people even more uncomfortable than they already are. I mean, it's not like it's paintball, where you need the paint to identify that someone's been hit. The paint does match the color of the buckets, though, so that's pretty. The challenge begins. After twenty minutes, Probst walks up with a bowl behind his back. "If there's food I'm out!" Cirie decides. Oh, Cirie -- I know you have this game in the palm of your hand and everything, but you could at least try to pretend you're fighting to stay in it. Probst reveals the bowl's contents, and it's sort of food, I guess: candy. Gross-looking candy, too. Like the kind in those dispensers at the grocery store. And what appear to be Skittles, but since they didn't pay for the product placement we'll never know. Cirie and Erik decide to go out together and split the prize. So not only do they lose immunity for some cheap nasty candy, but they only get half of it! How disappointing. "What in the nickelodeon is going on around here?" James wonders nonsensically yet adorably. Allow me to answer him: I'd say some people are way too confident that they aren't going home and really, really want candy. Even though one of them just had a giant feast, Erik.

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Survivor

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