Survivor
I Promise

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The Wizard of Ozzy

Forty-five minutes into the contest, Probst returns with another treat behind his back. James says if it's a steak, he's out. We don't get to see what it is before Alexis pulls her bucket down on her. The contestants can't believe it; she didn't even know what was behind Probst's back yet. Probst says Alexis got so excited that she lost her concentration and got out of the game. That means she will not be getting whatever's behind Probst's back. Alexis can't believe it. Everyone laughs, especially James. Which is kind of mean of him, but that was pretty funny. Especially if you don't really like Alexis. In fact, I'm surprised that Amanda's ass isn't sitting on the ground right now after she laughed it off. Probst denies Alexis's claims with a cheerful "no chance!" Heh heh heh. Probst totally hates all the contestants and enjoys the hell out of denying them. Alexis sits on the bench, looking really, really angry. "You can mope and be mad," Probst graciously allows her. He tells the other contestants that they have to say they're quitting the game for the food if they want it. Some people think it was unfair of Probst not to give Alexis the food, but it really looked to me that she didn't mean to drop her arm and did, in fact, lose her concentration. And I'm going to give Probst the benefit of the doubt and figure he advised the contestants of the rules ahead of time and said they had to announce their intention to drop out for food before doing so.

Probst finally reveals the prize that Alexis won't be receiving, and we get it in a great camera angle that captures both the food and her reaction to it. Heh heh heh. It's milk and a chocolate chip cookie. No sooner is he done saying that when Natalie, like, gets the vapors and pulls her bucket down. So not only does she get white water all over herself, but her pants fall down. Damn, that's embarrassing. Pretty funny, too. She staggers around while Probst asks what just happened. She says something about being about to pass out, but gets no medical attention and no cookies. Meanwhile, James is still laughing at this turn of events. "That would suck," he says sympathetically. And then he finds out just how much it would suck when he waves his arm too much and dumps his bucket. A split second before getting doused, he realizes what just happened and gets out an "oh, BITCH!" before it hits. Okay, that was hilarious. That whole segment, really. Thank you, Alexis, Natalie, and James: your inability to focus on one simple task gave me many laughs upon multiple rewinds.

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Survivor

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