I Should Be Carried On The Chariot-Type Thing

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
Cirie-ous Problems

Tribal council. Jeff asks Jonathan how much it sucks to be back there. They all talk about how hard the loss was, and Jeff asks whether Airai deserves some respect for the win. James says that they do: he thinks they're hungrier, and that Malakal has so much going for them that they're "soft." Well, Parvati sure is! (Sorry.) Jeff asks Yau-Man whether he knows what the problem is as to why they've lost some, and he says that they really just have to drive themselves hard for the victory. Jeff asks Jonathan about, basically, long game and short game, asking whether it's a team game or an individual game. Of course, it's always an individual game, but Jonathan can't resist biting on what Jeff is offering, saying that some people are trying to keep the tribe strong -- which is still mercenary, of course, because the point is not to get trounced at the merge -- while others are already playing like it's close to the end, taking out people who are threats and trying to "take control of the game." Cirie is understandably eye-rolly; Jonathan's not wrong that she's looking at individual threats over avoiding Pagonging too early, but he's saying it totally wrong in a way that's playing into the same asshole morality stuff that makes Jonathan so crazy when people do it to him.

Cirie, unfortunately, can't stay on the right side of this either, and instead of saying she's doing what's best for herself, period, she chooses to say she IS doing what's best for the tribe. Oh, Lord. STOP! Here, "best for the tribe" just means "not being at tribal council any more than necessary, because every trip here is a trip that puts my ass on the line." And that's not what she's doing, because Cirie seriously does not have an argument that her insistence on getting rid of Yau-Man is about that, so she isn't doing what's best for the tribe even in the way in which that makes sense as a thing. She's just doing it because she thinks Yau-Man might win someday, which she doesn't need to be sorry for, but WHY WON'T SHE JUST SAY THAT? Asked about his reaction, Jonathan says that Cirie has decided to take a very powerful position for herself, but he calls her on the fact that, contrary to what she just said, voting out "the person she wants to vote out" is not, according to anyone, going to make the tribe stronger. Which: true. Cirie, thinking she's making some kind of a big point off him, says that Jonathan is just mad because she wouldn't do what he wanted to do. Which...right, but his suggested move of getting rid of Parvati actually would be better for winning challenges, so that's not really relevant. If they're going to fight over which of them can legitimately argue that they're taking the pro-tribe, pro-winning-challenges stance, she's not going to win that argument and shouldn't try.

And then Jonathan tells Cirie that the reason he's unhappy is that they were supposedly in an alliance and now they're not, and she makes it personal again by trying to bring up Jonathan's past history again and how he's a rat cancer again, and then she insists that she was in the fifth position in the alliance, and Jonathan points out that she just admitted she was in their alliance, at least, and OH MY GOD this is pointless and reflecting poorly on both of them. And then Cirie flat-out lies (irony!) by denying it when Jonathan points out that she has pushed hard for the particular boot (Yau-Man) she wants. She gets very indignant and is like, "I didn't push anything! It was a group decision! I wasn't even there that day!" As you know, I don't mind liars, and I don't mind people who call out liars, but I really, REALLY dislike hypocrites, and that's what Cirie's being right now, because she is totally lying while high-horsing Jonathan about being untrustworthy, which is as dumb as it is when Jonathan tries to get after her for switching alliances. She does this whole thing where she's like, "You told me the best thing for the tribe was getting rid of Parvati," and Jonathan's like, "Well...yes," and Cirie's like, "AND I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE MAD," which is...exactly what Jonathan said in the first place. This is why he said he was frustrated. I seriously don't understand what point Cirie even thinks she's making, other than "rat cancer rat cancer rat cancer." It's good for making points with Parvati, because she goes about as deep as the lid on a mayonnaise jar, but you know...nobody else cares, dude. What has happened to Cirie?

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