I Should Be Carried On The Chariot-Type Thing

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
Cirie-ous Problems

Night 7 hits the Airai camp very hard. Their shelter? Still sucks. You know, based on what I'm seeing of their camp, I'm not sure they could really afford the luxury of choosing a kitchen set as one of their reward items. I'm thinking they could use many other things more than spatulas. As she huddles under a raincoat in night vision, Alexis tells us that it's pretty much hopeless. As one of the EEFPs pointed out (I'd have totally missed it), the producers have fun showing her "Motivational Speaker" chyron while she's basically like, "Abandon hope!"

Over at Malakal, they've made themselves quite a hideaway using their cave and their tarp, so they are not getting wet at all. Ozzy -- with apparent sincerity, and even concerned -- looks around while saying that he's not feeling great about how the other tribe is probably doing. He wants to beat them at swimming, but he doesn't actually want them to die or anything. He's all heart, that guy. Indeed, Long-Haired Jason is curling himself up in his prized cave dwelling, saying that he hopes not to be visited by spiders, scorpions, or rats. Or a late-returning Jon Dalton -- hiyo!

The next morning, Day 8 at Airai, does not look too good. At all. They have been out-and-out devastated by the storms overnight. There's a shot of Joel reclining in...what the hell is that? The boat? The music here is very severe, like we're watching an Oscar-winning documentary. Yeah, it is the boat, as you can see as Joel voices over about just how bad last night really was. He reveals that it rained all night, and that their shelter was essentially no help in keeping anyone dry. Mikey crawls out of what shelter he had, and he doesn't look too happy, either. Joel looks at his hands, which, while they're not at Ethan/Rupert levels of white pruning, are not looking good, either. He says that they were beat up twice -- "once by the other tribe, and once by nature." That's deep, Joel. Alexis is shaking as Chet hugs her, and she says that she "didn't sleep at all." Ugh. Those nights when you don't sleep at all are the worst. Alexis's hands are shaking hard as she talks about how pruny her fingers are. Alexis tells us that this is obviously not how you want to go into an immunity challenge, adding, "We cannot lose today." That's a little more motivational-speakerish, at least.

Immunity challenge time! Jeff brings in the troops. There are two big hanging net baskets, almost like giant planters. Jeff brings back Ami and Kathy. Jeff takes back the immunity idol from Amanda, and naturally, they exchange lame jokes about it. So the way this challenge works is that you choose two men and two women to hold ropes that hold up your big rope net. Then the other tribe's other members try to toss coconuts into your basket to make it heavier and heavier. When the basket gets heavy enough that your holders drop it, the other team wins. So essentially, victory is a combination of your shooters being good enough at tossing weight into the other team's basket, and your holders being able to hold your basket up as it gets heavy. Losers to tribal council. The net holders for Airai are Erik, Joel, Natalie, and Tracy. Really? Erik? Instead of Mikey? Maybe Mikey is stuffed with cotton. Or maybe Joel doesn't want Mikey to think he has holding heavy things up all under his control. For Malakal, it's Parvati, Cirie, James, and Jonathan. I'm not sure who's right, but note that the holders are standing side-by-side, each holding a rope attached to the basket, and Airai has put their guys on the outside, while Malakal has their guys on the inside.

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