I Should Be Carried On The Chariot-Type Thing

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
Cirie-ous Problems

Ready...go! The first shooters are Mikey and Ozzy, who both miss. So people shoot, and people shoot, and the first to get one in for Airai is Jason, while the first to get one in for Malakal is Yau-Man. Of course. It quickly emerges that underhand tosses are going to be more effective to get the coconuts up high enough than is trying to shoot them like a basketball. Jonathan spends the entire time both encouraging and razzing members of his own team as well as members of Airai, with my favorite moment being a friendly little "Nice shot, there, squirrelly-boy!" directed at Jason, who does have a certain rodential quality, I agree. But ultimately, I think Airai makes more shots, and it appears to be Chet that delivers the killer blow. Awesome. Malakal drops the net, and they're headed for tribal council. Understandably, the previously demoralized Airai is very happy.

After the commercials, we're walking back to camp with Malakal, still on Day 8, as Ami enlightens us with the information that losing the immunity challenge "sucks." Elsewhere, Yau-Man and Jonathan discuss the upcoming boot, and Yau-Man asks whether they're good to go with Parvati. "She's sleeping with James, and we can't have it," says Jonathan, applying lessons of past seasons involving previous Survivor winners and the granting of privileges to the Wonderland Of Your Blurred Body. Meanwhile, Amanda fills James in that Yau-Man is going, because Cirie wants it that way, and they need Cirie. James resists having Cirie call the shots to that degree, but Parvati comes over and eyelash-bats that Yau-Man is smart, and that there's a "strong possibility" that he's going to Exile Island before the next tribal council. Really? Is that so? Parvati also pouts that she knows there's an effort to send her home, and James reassures her that her sweet ass is under the protection of his manly pecs, et cetera. The amount of dumb that floats around between these two dummies is enough dumb to fuel a dumb factory responsible for manufacturing enough dumb to feed the entire population of Dumbtown. With dumb left over.

Elsewhere, Ozzy is trying to persuade Cirie that Eliza would make a better boot. She whines (seriously, it is whining, which is where I start to get disappointed), "We can get rid of Eliza any day." Apparently, Cirie has not read her History Of How The Person You Can Get Rid Of Any Day Makes It To The End, because it is a long-ass book -- almost as long as Stories Of Eliza Almost But Not Quite Being Voted Off, which runs hundreds of pages. I was watching a couple of episodes from Eliza's season the other day, and I'd forgotten about the time she got rid of Ami; that was a cold, calculated, absolutely correct but really brutal move, because she weepily made it clear that she really loved Ami, but she booted her anyway. She picked up the pen and did it because she needed to, and that makes Eliza formidable in a way that not all of these people are, historically. Anyway, Ozzy argues to Cirie that Yau-Man is better in challenges than Eliza, so for the sake of actually winning some immunity challenges, voting off Eliza is a better move. Cirie is insistent that it has to be Yau-Man. Her way or the highway: get rid of the person who's better at challenges, or Cirie will...DO WHAT?

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