Oh, crap. They're letting Douche have a turn to speak. He greets Stephen and J.T. as the "last two members of the power alliance," STILL not getting it that that alliance never really existed. He's proud to see "the warrior" and "the wizard" at the end. I think it's amazing how Douche can take anything that happens and spin it in his mind so that it reflects well on him. If it didn't make him look like such an insufferable dick, I'd be jealous. Brendan laughs at Douche as he talks about iron sharpening iron. Then he asks J.T. how he was able to keep his honesty and integrity late in the game and also some crap about being a noble warrior. J.T. says he had to lie to Douche sometimes, but he kept his promise that he wouldn't vote for him. Only because he knew he'd be able to use that at the Final Two, but J.T. doesn't say that and Douche is too wrapped up in his own delusions of grandeur to see it. Then J.T. is even more brilliant and says that he would have gone to the end with Douche because he knew Douche would take J.T. to the Final Two, just like he thought Stephen would have taken him, only to just now discover that wasn't true. He says he risked a million dollars to keep his word to Douche and to Stephen. Douche asks Stephen the same nonsensical question. Stephen says that he actually had more honor than J.T. because he accepted responsibility for voting people out by writing their names down and not letting everyone else do the dirty work while he tried to win jury votes by throwing his vote away. That's a very good point. Stephen adds that he hasn't said anything negative against J.T. yet tonight, so that makes him a noble warrior. I think it's more like he's foolishly grateful, but I'll accept noble warrior.
Sierra's turn! She says she's heard enough from Stephen at this point so she only has a question for J.T., which is yet another chance to bash poor Stephen. You know, Douche totally sucks and all, but at least he didn't use his jury questions to prop J.T. up while shitting on Stephen like everyone else so far has. Sierra asks J.T. how he can say he took the strongest person with him to the end when Stephen is "one of the weakest players [she's] ever seen." I guess they didn't have mirrors out there, or else Sierra could have taken a long look at herself and seen a much weaker player. Almost voted out before the game even started, unable to find a hidden immunity idol, letting her alliancemate do the work for her and then crying and begging when he was voted out ... these are not the characteristics of a strong player in this game. She adds that when J.T. had the chance to take Taj to the Final Three, he chose Erinn, who Sierra claims is "another weak player." Again, not really. Erinn played a very good game. That's why she outlasted her entire tribe. Sierra, on the other hand, couldn't even win at shuffleboard. There's a shot of Erinn, who is clearly imagining ways to kill Sierra right now. Sierra concludes that J.T. actually took the two weakest players with him, and how can she admire that? J.T. says that Stephen is a strong player -- he won an immunity challenge and almost beat J.T. in the last one (and Erinn almost beat J.T. in the second-to-last one). He thinks that of the Final Four, Stephen was the strongest. Sierra says J.T. lost her respect because if he really wanted to go to the end with the strongest player, he'd be sitting next to Tyson or Brendan or Debbie. Except not really, since they were voted out and therefore were not strong players. If J.T. wins tonight, Sierra just wants him to know that he didn't beat the strongest player. That won't make the million dollars worth any less, though, so shut up Sierra.
Tyson is up next. He says that Stephen said that J.T. helped him get to the end and he wants to know if J.T. feels the same way about Stephen. J.T. says Stephen helped him, but he could have done this without him and doesn't think that Stephen can say the same. Stephen is hurt by this, and Tyson asks for his reply. Stephen says he's very hurt to hear J.T. devalue their partnership after everything they've done together, but he still doesn't think he could have done it without J.T. and he doesn't think J.T. could have done it without him. J.T. asks Stephen if he'd be sitting here tonight if "someone else" won immunity. Well, yes, since that person would either be Stephen or Erinn. Stephen says yes, Taj or Erinn would have taken him over J.T. That's it for Tyson, and while I don't like him, he, like Douche, wasn't a bitter asshole in his jury question and didn't feel the need to put one person down to prop up the other. Good for him.
Last up is Taj. "Crushed. Betrayed. Extremely disappointed," she starts. Uh oh. Here's the bitter grapes speech. There's always one. I'm sad it's going to be from Taj of all people. She says the way she was voted out was unnecessary, although she knows that's how the game is played. Okay, so, not too bitter then. She asks J.T. why he couldn't vote Douche or Stephen out but had seemingly no problem when it came to taking her out. J.T. says his hardest vote was the one against her, and they both stuck their necks out for each other plenty of times before that in the game. Voting her out was "almost harder" than voting to keep Stephen, J.T. claims. I think if J.T. had gone to the end with Erinn and shown that he could turn his back on both of his alliancemates, Taj probably wouldn't have been so hurt. Taj turns to Stephen and says she thought they were so tight, only for him to blindside her. I love the melodramatic sad piano playing in the background, by the way. She asks if she was really such a threat that she had to be blindsided out of the game. Stephen goes for broke and says J.T. wanted to take Taj out for a while and Stephen was the person who kept her safe. He wanted to have an all-Jalapeño Final Three against an all-Tempura jury (I guess they figured there would be a Final Three, not a Final Two?). J.T. was the one who thought Taj was tougher physical competition than Erinn, and Stephen worried that Taj wouldn't take him to the Final Two and knew that Erinn would (so I guess they knew it would be a Final Two after all and just did the math wrong), so he went with J.T. J.T. speaks up and says it isn't true that he was gunning for Taj and Stephen was trying to protect her. Stephen says it's time to come clean and says J.T. wanted to take Taj out going back to before the merge, like when Taj gave Stephen the idol and J.T. thought of taking Taj out to keep it for themselves. J.T. argues that was Stephen's idea. According to what we saw, it was really a team effort between them. J.T. was the first person to say it out loud, though. Taj says she doesn't need to hear it, and J.T. mutters "is this the same guy I brought with me?" "Yes!" Taj says. Stephen gets mad and says J.T. "slandered" him all night, only to get all upset when Stephen finally tries to fight back. J.T. says everything he said was accurate. The jury loves every minute of this. Yes, it's always fun to be rendered completely incon