Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Weak
sequential to the game. "Our friendship means more to me than winning does," Stephen says. Aw, and he really means it! I was not expecting Stephen, of all people, to let his feelings take over his logic. "But you'd've brought Erinn," J.T. says. "I never made that decision in my heart," Stephen cheeses. "I just feel like a fool, man," J.T. says, looking very sad. "Oh come on now, I mean, look, whatever," Stephen says, and that's pretty well representative of his performance tonight. I really thought he'd be awesome in front of the jury, but he just fell apart like Amanda. Except Amanda is dumb, and Stephen is so smart! Meanwhile, I clearly underestimated J.T. this entire season. There's a real brain hiding under that Southern drawl.

And now, it's time to vote. Actually, no -- it's time to switch to the ten o'clock hour of programming, which means they're cutting into the always-rushed reunion show. Grr. They could have cut so much stuff out to fit this entire show into two hours. Probst reminds the jury that they're voting for the winner tonight, and the voting begins. Sierra says "nice job" to the camera as she votes, and I think it's cool of her to praise production like that. We don't see who Taj votes for, but she says "I am a woman of my word. You should try to be a man the same way." We can't all be married to hot football heroes, Taj. Way to have standards. Douche votes for "The W" and keeps his blazer on the whole time! Why break tradition now, Douche? This is not the way of the Samurvikindians! Oh, but, sure enough, when he leaves the voting booth, the blazer is slung over his shoulder, which gets a laugh from Sierra and an approving nod from Probst. Douche figured out that if they're going to laugh at him, he might as well make it look like that was his intention. Probst fetches the urn, thanks the contestants for a "great" season of Survivor, and leaves the Tribal Council set. He does not jet-ski or parachute or anything, which never fails to disappoint me.

We go to the live show, and Probst boringly walks in with the urn. He gets a standing ovation from the crowd and says "all right! That's what we like!" which is a change of pace from his usual audience-hating lectures to sit down and shut up. Oh, and there's J.T. and Stephen all cleaned up! Holy crap, J.T. looks good. It's shallow, but I will not be upset when he inevitably wins now. Stephen kept his beard but decided not to get a decent haircut before the show, which is unfortunate. He kind of has a mullet. Eesh. Probst calms the audience down and says "good live audience tonight, I like it!" Is he drunk? What's going on? Someone shouts at him from the crowd and he slurs "I love you, too" back at her. He IS drunk! How irresponsible. Probst slurs that Stephen and J.T. did a great job playing a hard game and whoever wins deserves the prize. "J.T.!" someone yells from the audience. J.T. giggles. He didn't even look this good on the first day of the game!

Probst reminds the boys that they want to see their names on the paper and it takes four votes to win. Stephen's not looking very hopeful. The first vote is indeed for J.T. The sound cuts out for a few seconds here, so I'm not sure if someone swore or there were technical difficulties or what. Second vote: The Warrior J.T. Let's cut to a shot of Douche since we all know he cast it. Third vote: J.T. Aww, he looks so nervous and excited! And the fourth vote: J.T. J.T. yells and jumps up and hugs Stephen, then runs off the stage towards his family. There is much hugging and screaming from them. And then we go to Samson, Alabama, where several children are cheering for "Uncle J.T." So J.T. got every single vote and never had one against him, which is a first for this show. It made for a fairly boring season and I really thought Stephen deserved to win (until he went in front of the jury and sucked out), but I can't help but smile. Such is the magic of J.T. Next up: the reunion!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

Survivor

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP