Survivor

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Sara M: D | Grade It Now!
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Thanksgiving Filler
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Well, it's Thanksgiving, and this year I'm giving thanks for CBS's decision to air a lame "new" recap episode for me to recap. They're promising there will be some never-before-seen footage to make this worth my while, but somehow I doubt it. They should have just aired the entire Tribal Council from last week's episode from all the different camera angles. That would have been awesome.

Probst welcomes us with a promise that we're going to see some new footage. We see Susie and Crystal eat bugs, and then Randy tells us "if you get me, you're not offended by me." Clearly, they edited out the part in the middle where he said "and you're a white male." And then there's Corinne, emphatically saying she wants to kill Sugar. That's at least two people on Corinne's hit list, but I'll bet neither Susie nor Sugar are exactly scared, since Corinne is all talk and curly hair. We're also going to see audition tapes, which I am actually excited about. And last but not least, there's Probst's rampant Fang-bashing, as he tells us we'll get the "unlikely story" of how the "underdogs" "came out on top." We hear quotes from all of the contestants left in the game and then we begin with the beginning: the first tribe selection. Which means that you just read a recap of a recap of a recap. It's the most boring Matryoshka doll ever!

Probst claims that Fang "set themselves up for failure" by picking the tribe members they did, even though WE ALL NOW KNOW that those picks were pretty good. For example, Crystal's pick of Susie over one of the alpha males? Totally worked out for her when she needed Susie's vote to boot Marcus. Then again, what if Crystal had picked Marcus instead? They would have been super-tight as soon as they found out about their shared connection to Kenny Cox. Oh well! Sucks for Marcus that that didn't happen. We see GC pick Ken, and how is that a bad pick? It was at the end when all of Probst's favorite he-men were already selected, and Ken was instrumental in Fang's only immunity challenge win. Probst says Fang was "physically weaker" than Kota, and "this would prove to be their demise." Except NOT REALLY, since they won one out of three challenges before the tribes were switched up, at which time the "horrible" pick of Susie went to Kota and super awesome physical threat Ace came to Fang, where he proceeded to hit himself in the face, cry about it, and win nothing. Then we get a montage of Kota's many victories to demonstrate Fang's suckiness. We don't see any clips of Fang winning challenges, but we do see Matty say that he's all discouraged and his tribe sucks.

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Survivor

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