GC shadowboxes in his audition tape and claims that he will bring entertainment to this show, which he did not.
And then there's Randy: "I've only loved one person in my life, and that was my dog. He's in this urn right here. Dogs rule, people suck." You won't be surprised to hear that the video is being shot on a tripod, as in, there's no friend holding the camera up or anything like that. Also, Randy appears to be in the middle of a candlelight dinner in front of the fireplace for just him and his dog's urn. I've gone from hating him back to feeling sorry for him again. But wait! Randy's head is totally shaved in the video, no doubt because he's a skinhead, and I hate him again. And then his phone rings. Who could possibly be calling?
Bob went to his workplace for his audition video, so he's rocking his best Bill Nye costume of a bright blue suit jacket and a red bowtie as he stands in front of his physics class. You can see in the faces of the kids behind him that they are thrilled that they're sitting around watching their teacher be goofy instead of learning stuff. Then he's outside being chased by a bear. I did like how Bob totally swore when the bear started chasing him. He doesn't seem like the swearing type. Then Bob is in his high school cafeteria saying that he's ready to eat disgusting Suvivor food thanks to all the crappy lunches the lunch ladies have served him over the years. That was hands down for a slap, so he gets one from one of the lunch ladies. Obviously she works harder perfecting her backhand than her recipes.
Crystal went to an open casting call. She starts off by saying we probably recognize her as the gold medal winner from the 2004 Olympics, which we wouldn't since no one really memorizes the faces of 4x400 relay teams and also, Crystal wasn't in the 2004 Olympics. Or any Olympics.
Susie's live from her kitchen. She says she's 47 years old and poor, but she's confident and fun and can grow facial hair. I probably didn't need to know that. The people who've been watching this on their HDTVs, on the other hand, probably knew that already. Then her microwave timer goes off and she gets up to turn it off, saying "please call me, Mr. Burnett! I really am ready." Hee hee. I like Susie.
Ken is in his bedroom (where he probably spends most of his time) and he has braces. Wow. Unfortunate. He shows off the giant checks he's won in past videogame competitions (why not cash them already? Doesn't he need the money?) and says his strength is his strategic mind.