Survivor
I Will Not Give Up

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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My immunity for a donut!

A bit later, two large gentlemen come around the bend on an interesting flat boat, approaching camp. The guys pull their boat up, and the tribe introduces itself. The guys report that they are here to teach the tribe how to catch fish. Ian expresses that he's "so excited" to learn how to "fish, Palau-an style." Joe (one of their trainers) breaks up something or other, saying that they'll use that to catch little fish, and then they'll use the little fish as bait for the big fish. He shows them how to tie three hooks together at the end of a line and then he wanders out into the water hip-deep, twirls the line a little bit like a cowboy, and flings it out into the water. Tom quotes the old give-a-fish/teach-to-fish line as Joe brings in the little bait fish. Coby, Ian, and Tom all take cracks at trying to get bait, as Joe explains that they've got to get this done, or they can't go fishing. When the bait-catching is a little delayed, Joe suggests that some people can stay behind and work on learning to catch bait, and he'll take others out to work on learning to actually catch fish. "Well, there's four of us," Coby announces. "Two do bait, two do fish." I guess he means there are four guys. Certainly, the women don't count, at least to Coby. Coby announces further that he will stay and do bait. "Tommy," Gregg says, "you want to go with me and catch fish?" Tom says he does, but he also thinks Ian should go, so Tom asks Joe if Joe can take all three of those guys out. As they discuss this with Joe, Coby immediately starts to bitch: "And I'm going to be left out, as usual. That's fine, I'll stay with the girls." Tom points out that Coby just said he wanted to stay back and do bait. Coby bitches more, all, "Whatever," and to what I suspect is Coby's surprise, rather than get into a pissing match, Tom just says, "I'd like to go fishing. I made the poles, I'd like to go out." Tom explains in his interview that Ian had already done a lot of work trying to fish, and it didn't make sense to leave him behind when they were learning how to fish. "You want me to stay and we can catch bait?" Ian offers to Coby. "No. No, y'all go fish," Coby says as he stomps off. Ian calls after him: "Coby, do you want to come and learn to fish?" Coby stomps off.

Honestly, Coby's entire argument here is so lame it needs crutches. And a telethon. Email campaigns have been organized to get morning drive-time DJs fired for making fun of people who are tragically afflicted with that argument. It is that bad, and I am not joking. Not only did he have nothing to bitch about in the first place, but when they called his bluff and offered either that Ian would stay and do exactly what Coby originally suggested, or that Coby himself could go learn to fish and he turned them down, he proved that this wasn't ever about what they did or didn't do. Coby, in the great tradition of jerkweed Survivor contestants, doesn't actually want to solve the problem -- he wants to retain the problem as something he can complain about. It's a tradition with a long and storied history ["in all-girls' middle schools, and I speak from weary experience…shut up, Coby" -- Sars], and it's just as obnoxious now as it always has been. It's just free-form bitching for bitching's sake; it's just Coby being angry to be angry, because he can't help trying to position himself as the only person who doesn't suck. Which would really go a lot better if he sucked a little less. He is the self-righteous blusterer of the moment, and like most people, he's not flattered by that role.

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